A conscious sexuality retreat in Berlin with elements of boundaries, consent, tantra, wheel of consent, transformation, and dance.
A 5-day group journey to Rebirth your sexuality
Can you feel in your bones that it’s time to shift something in your sexuality? Maybe you know exactly what it is. Maybe you simply sense that it’s time for a new chapter. Either way, this fourth edition of Rebirthing the Sensual Self might be for you.
It’s a place where you can:
- Let go of old patterns and beliefs around intimacy, sexuality, and relationships.
- Reconnect with your own truths and create authentic connection from there.
- Learn to communicate boundaries and desires in a way that builds trust and joy.
- Embrace what brings you pleasure and enjoy your playful, sensual, or sexual self.
- Be part of a wonderful group of people who are willing to show up vulnerably and explore together.
“This retreat offered a container that was safe enough for me to open up to, feel, and express stuck emotions which were linked to my sensuality/sexuality. Through a variety of different exercices I overwrote and improved my relationship to intimate topics that I felt ashamed of before.” — Robin O. (participated in 2025)
A supportive environment to Connect deeply with yourself and others
Once again, this fourth edition of Rebirthing the Sensual Self offers:
- Carefully designed practices to explore touch, boundaries, emotions, and expressing what you want.
- Two evening playgrounds to continue discovering and connecting at your own pace.
- Time to process your experiences and slowly grow safety and freedom from within.
- A focus on human connection in the broadest sense of the word.
- A team that’s deeply committed to showing up authentically and supporting your journey from there.
“I didn't expect the workshops and the overall atmosphere to be so sweet and innocent.” — Olesya S. (participated in 2025)
When, where, quanto costa? The practicals
Practical
- Group size: 15–30 wonderful humans.
- Availability: Cancelled because the venue is closing. Join us
- Language: English
- Arrival: Wed 22 Apr 2026 between 16:00 – 17:00. (Or arrive early and help us set up.)
- Departure: Sun 26 Apr 2026 around 17:00.
Calls
- Private intake call: After you sign up, you can schedule a 45-minute intake call with Mette.
- Group integration call: Wed 6 May 2026 19:30 – 21:30 CET (Zoom, optional).
Venue, food, accommodation
- Venue: The Farm: a cozy farmhouse with a huge garden and a sauna on the edge of Berlin. Ten minutes walking from S Grünbergallee.
- Accommodation: You can sleep in your own tent, a dorm, or a smaller room (limited availability).
- Food: The following (delicious!) vegan/vegetarian meals are included: Dinner on Wednesday. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner on Thursday, Friday, and Sataturday. Big brunch and afternoon soup on Sunday. If you need snacks in between, bring your own. Some details may change.
- Accessibility: There may be (loud) music or noises during some parts of some workshops. It's possible to skip these parts, witness from a distance, or wear earplugs. The venue is not particularly accessible and has multiple sets of stairs and only ordinary toilets, yet we’re happy to help out. Please reach out if you have specific needs or requests.
- Packing list: Scroll down here.
Timetable
The schedule is quite different each day, yet here's an example of what a day might look like:
- 08:00 – Morning practice or ritual (only on some days)
- 09:00 or 09:30 – Breakfast
- 10:30 or 11:30 – Program
- 13:00 or 13:30 – Lunch
- 15:00 – Program
- 18:00 – Dinner
- 20:00 – Program
- 22:30 – End of program (later or flexible ending times on some evenings)
For a day-by-day overview of the retreat, go here.
Setting the price for this kind of event is a trade-off between two conflicing desires: creating an inclusive event and generating an income through my work.
I’ve once again chosen a combination of a fixed amount upfront and a flexible donation afterwards. If you feel inclined because you feel you can’t donate enough, or if you feel frozen around this decision, I encourage you to either sign up and trust that things will work out, or tomessage me on Telegram so we can have a chat about it :)
- Fixed pre-payment — upfront
Beforehand, you contribute to the fixed costs of the retreat. The total amount for this is around €12,000, which includes the venue, chef, ingredients, assistants team, materials, and various other expenses. You pay:- €450 — Stay in your own tent (incl VAT)
- €545 — Sleep in a dorm
- €605 — Sleep in a smaller room (limited availability)
- €350 — Helper spot (help with setup, cleanup, or tasks during the breaks. Sleep in a tent or dorm)
- Flexible donation — afterwards
Within 7 days after the retreat, you donate for the time I’ve spent on facilitating, organizing, and promoting the retreat. This donation also contributes to the time and money I spent on educating myself, the financial risks I take when organizing events, and the general expenses I make in order to run my business. Here’s the scale:- €1 — Minimum donation (so I know you didn’t forget it)
- €100 – €1100 — Sliding scale (whatever works for you)
- €1133 — Fully sustainable donation (I’m aware that most people can’t afford this, so please don't let this number stop you from joining)
- €1200+ — Donate extra (so others can pay less)
Pay in installments
It's possible to pay the fixed costs in monthly installments. This brings more risk and administration on my side, so it costs a little more:
- Pay in 2 installments: 2% fee
- Pay in 3 installments: 3% fee
(It’s also possible to spread out your donation over multiple payments, at no extra cost.)
Make your choice
You can indicate your price preference in the signup form. Priority for helper spots is given to those facing challenging situations or with marginalized identities. Unsure what to do? Book a call or message me on Telegram.
Cancelled because the venue is closing
Or schedule a 30-minute call with Mette
Mette Koppelaar (1984, they/them)
I see authentic self-expression as a doorway to welcoming all parts of ourself, building deeper connection, and shaping a more loving world. I see sexuality as a part of life where we can experience our highest highs and lowest lows. Either way, it has a deep potential for realness. A big reason I work with sexuality in some of my spaces is that when sexuality is welcome, then everything else can be welcome, too.
As a facilitator, I create spaces where people from diverse identities can be true to themselves, build trust, and contribute to a culture of freedom and care. I use frameworks like:
- The Pyramid of Permission (developed by me)
- Polyvagal Theory
- Internal Family Systems
- Wheel of Consent
- Nonviolent Communication
- Diamond Approach
- Buddhism
My approach is simple: when there’s enough outer safety and permission to express yourself, you’ll meet the edges of your inner safety and permission. Having positive experiences at your edges, you can slowly become more comfortable with a wider range of expression. Over time, this allows you to reveal more of yourself in more areas of life.
My lens and ambition
I was born in Amsterdam in 1984. I’m white, able-bodied, middle-class, and gender nonconforming, using they/them or he/him pronouns. I grew up with safety and stability, with parents who spent years in group therapy before I was born. I haven’t faced war or poverty, and my passport allows me to travel freely—privileges I’m increasingly aware of.
At the same time, dressing outside gender norms has shown me what it’s like to not always feel safe on the street. Research, book interviews, and many personal conversations have deepened my understanding of societal oppression—especially for those whose identities are most targeted.
What began as a search for personal freedom has turned into a deep longing for a free, just, and equal world. It’s what I strive to contribute to in my work and daily life—one real moment at a time.
Connect with me
Book a free call, join my mailing list, Telegram channel, or Instagram — or watch some of the videos below this photo:
Watch me talk
How dressing outside the norm led me to do this work:
About trusting me and the team, when you don't know us yet:
Anna Schmidbauer (she/her)
Anna is a somatic practitioner guiding individuals through trauma-informed, body-centered business building in one-on-one settings. She works with the body not as a machine to optimize—but as a responsive ecosystem that holds memory, intelligence, and direction. In her sessions, clients explore how nervous system patterns shape visibility, decision-making, and leadership—unlocking sustainable ways to grow from within. Anna’s presence is steady and precise, offering entrepreneurs the depth and clarity needed to root their work in true embodiment.
Aya Mo (she/her)
Aya is a touch therapist who spent years in training with masters in different styles of bodywork and the esoteric arts. She facilitates and teaches practices like yoga, rituals to close the bones, standing on a bed of nails, and different kind of massage like Rebozo—a Mexican non-contact/vibration practice. She loves to hold space for people by serving Chinese tea in a traditional way, which she'll do during the open space on Saturday night.
Francesca Maria (she/they)
Francesca creates spaces of beauty, truth, play and permission. Because of her own personal journey and her research in the realms of sexuality, coming home to the body is a subject she holds at heart. She's a trained psychologist and somatic sexologist. Coming from an intense life dealing with severe childhood trauma, depression and addiction she's been enriched with empathy, compassion and attunement — aspects that inform her work and help her have a deeper understanding of what makes us human.
Packing list
- Essential to bring
- Pillow cover, bedsheet (for around a blanket), two towels (shower and sauna), something to lie on (if you want to be naked in the workshop space), extra blanket (the bedrooms get cold at night).
- Toiletries, water bottle, pen and paper, eye mask, earplugs (for sleeping in a shared room or loud music in the workshop space), snacks (for in between meals).
- Comfortable clothing, warm socks, indoor shoes, slippers for the shower.
- An object to place on our altar to symbolize or support your rebirth
- Nice to bring
- Dress up clothes, lingerie, make-up, face paint, accessories, fancy shoes, or whatever else supports your self-expression.
- Massage oil, toys, shibari ropes, safer sex supplies, creative materials, instruments, your teddy bear, or whatever brings you safety or joy.
- Dress-up clothes to lend to others in our famous dress-up corner, and decoration items for the room (sheep skins, fabrics, pillows, blankets, and fun lights). Ideally label your stuff and write down what you brought so you remember in the end.
- Don’t bring
- Drugs, alcohol, mind-altering substances
- Your super cute doggie
- Glitter (unless it's biodegradable)
- Strong perfume
Prepare to go offline for 96 hours (optional)
When we start the program (after dinner on Wednesday), you'll have the possibility of handing in your phone. If you choose to do so, it might be helpful to inform your close ones that you can't be reached until Sunday evening.
Pro-tip: Give yourself some extra time for integration and tell people you’ll be back online on Monday or Tuesday.
Emergency contact
Closer to the starting date, we'll publish an emergency phone number at the bottom of this page. It can then be found directly under the following link:
https://mettekoppelaar.com/rss26#emergencyContact
(Instead of giving people the phone numbers, give them this link. The numbers may change.)
“Mette has this incredible talent to read the room and ensure we are going at a pace that allows everybody to tag along and feel comfortable. They have this combination of attentiveness to the needs of people, a calm attitude, and a sense of humor that makes it possible to ease into quite challenging topics and slowly open up.” — A previous participant
Let me tell you What happens at this retreat
Because the retreat is five days, there’s enough time to take things slowly, get to know each other, build a consent culture, enjoy different practices, have multiple ‘free-flow’ evenings, and respond to any emerging needs. There’s time to take breaks, look after our nervous systems, digest the various experiences together, and become a little community.
Each day will contain elements like:
- Dancing, movement, games, and playful moments.
- Practices to help you connect with yourself and your body.
- Exercises in pairs or small groups about communicating your boundaries, feelings, and desires.
- Touch exercises to explore phyical interactions with others.
- Journaling, small-group and full-group reflection moments and sharing circles.
- Open spaces to continue things you've tried during the day—or to follow your own flow.
- Eating and chatting together, chilling in the garden, going for a walk, or enjoying the sauna.
Day-by-day breakdown
The exact program is always adjusted in response to the emerging needs of the group, but here's the intention for each day. (To see the daily timetable, see the practical info.)
Wednesday
- Arrival in the late afternoon.
- Time to prepare your bed and explore the grounds.
- Early dinner together.
- Gentle evening focussed on relaxing your body, building human connection, and creating a culture that supports you in feeling safe.
Thursday
- A day of connecting with yourself and others in ways that support safety in your nervous system and in the group
- Practices to help you notice patterns, emotions, stories, and coping mechanisms that don't serve you anymore
- An evening of self-connection, allowing you to deeply connect with yourself and get ready to start transforming some of your old baggage the next morning.
- Go to bed and wake up in silence.
Friday
- Rebirthing ritual. This is not breathwork but an early morning ritual to transform lingering emotions and stories about the past, forgive yourself and others, and step into the potential that lies underneath.
- Practices to explore your senses, rediscover the miracle of having a body, physically connect with others, and practices around connection, wishes, boundaries, and consent.
- The first open space in the evening, where you can continue things you've explored during the day, or follow your own flow entirely.
- Sensuality may slowly make its way into the space, but the pace is gentle and there are always different options for participation. You’ll be actively encouraged to decide what’s right for you in any given moment.
Saturday
- During the day, there will be guided practices to connect with yourself and others in an honest and empowered way. You’ll get to play with asking for what you want, embracing the beauty of your no, and having new types of interactions. There will be time to reflect on these experiences together.
- The evening will serve as open space where you can repeat some of the things you've tried during the day, or follow your own flow entirely. Nothing is expected and everything is allowed. The team is constantly there to support you in what can both turn out to be a challenging or incredibly uplifting environment. (It’s sually a bit of both, yet rarely as scary as people imagine upfront.)
- You can step into more sensual—and perhaps sexual—experiences if, how, and when you want to. You can have an equally great time when you don’t enter these domains.
Sunday
- Winding down and integration.
- There will be be time for processing your journey in smaller and bigger groups, and you'll have time to chill and take it easy.
- You’ll be supported by a warm sauna, yummy food, a huge garden, and the afterglow of the past few days.
This retreat aims to be a place where you can:
- Develop the courage, skills, and sensitivity to become more safe and free in your sensual and sexual expression.
- Connect with others in ways that feel true to you, and yourself in an environment where so much of you is welcome.
- Experience authentic community with like-minded people.
Our approach
The framework that informs our approch to this retreat is The Pyramid of Permission, which is a model I (Mette) have been developing since 2020. Each part of the Pyramid highlights a different aspect of becoming more safe and free in your full human expression—including your sensuality and sexuality.
In short, the pyramid is here to help you get better at:
- Growing permission to authentically express yourself and be true to yourself in any kind of interaction. This is the groundwork to feeling more free.
- Creating real moments — moments where your outer expression is aligned with your inner truth. Practicing this repeatedly adds up to living a more authentic live.
- Questioning parts of yourself that don’t serve you anymore. This is the first step in letting go of the old and being more intentional about how you want to live and relate.
- Growing safety within yourself and in your interactions with others, to make all of this possible.
Let me go over these in a bit more detail:
Growing permission
We think of permission as something that exists outside yourself (outer permission) and within yourself (inner permission). We’ll work with both:
- Outer permission: which parts of your emotions, boundaries, desires, sexuality, and human expression are welcomed by others? Which parts of you are subtly (or loudly) rejected?
- During this retreat, we’ll invite you to loosen assumptions about what is and isn’t welcome. We’ll introduce ways of communicating what you want before assuming it’s not possible. This is as a way of welcoming all of yourself and also a way of finding out that more is welcome/possible than you may have assumed.
- Inner permission is the internalized version of what has and hasn’t been welcome throughout your (sexual and non-sexual) life so far. It’s the rules you created to be acceptable, lovable, and desireable. It’s the shape you have consciously or subconsciously fit your sexuality into. It’s made up of the parts of yourself you’ve learned to emphasize, and of the parts you learned to hide—maybe even from yourself.
- During this retreat, we’ll help you recognize and reflect on the shape of your inner permission. We’ll help you see how you’ve internalized all those messages about what is and isn't welcome. We’ll also invite you to create experiences with others where you can slowly begin to rewrite these inner rules into a new, empowering, liberating, perspective on yourself and your sexuality.
Creating real moments
In this retreat, you can start “rebirthing” your sensual self. This doesn’t mean you have to change who you are or force some kind of drastic overhaul. Instead, we hope you’ll gain more choice in how you relate to the present moment. Our method for this is helping you create real moments. We explain this as a practice consisting of three parts, which can be found on top of the pyramid:
- Notice your inner truth: become more aware of your thoughts, feelings, and desires in the present moment. You'll learn to regularly ask yourself questions like:
- What’s happening in my body?
- What am I thinking?
- What am I feeling?
- What are my boundaries?
- What do I want?
- Welcome your inner truth: learn to embrace your thoughts, emotions, desires, boundaries, and the state of your body. Accept that this is your current reality, even—or especially—when your first reaction is to reject it.
- Act on your inner truth: learn to intentionally act on your inner truth. Simply put, you:
- Say what you think
- Express how you feel
- Care for your body
- Ask for what you want
- Say no or pause
- Do what you genuinely want to do
Each time you do this, it has the potential to improve the current moment. But add the moments up and they have an enormous impact on your interactions, relationships, and life.
The key is making these moments easier to create without becoming perfectionist about having to create them. We don’t want to create pressure, but hope you leave with more choice.
Questioning what doesn’t serve you anymore
While acting on you inner truth is all about getting better at doing what’s right and true for you in any given moment, we also emphasize questioning your beliefs, patterns and the things you do automatically but that may not serve you anymore.
- Questioning means becoming more aware of stories, beliefs, mannerisms, reactive behaviors, survival strategies, and the parts of your identity that don’t serve you anymore.
- We’ll invite reflection implicitly, through transformative experiences, and also intentionally, by reflecting on the various interactions and practices you’ll engage in during the week.
- Your new insights will enable you to start acting on parts of your desires and identity that have been harder to access. You can hopefully do so in new, and more intentional, ways.
Growing safety
Developing safety is perhaps the most important part of anything. It’s the foundation that makes it possible to grow permission, create real moments, and question your inner truth. Similar to the permission layer, he pyramid shows the safety layer as something that exists both outside and within you. I’ll explain this in the next section.
This retreats aims to be a place where you can safely explore your full human expression—including your sensuality and sexuality. We think of safety as both an external reality (outer safety) and an inner experience (inner safety), and we pay attention to both:
Outer safety
- Outer safety is how safe you actually are in a given situation, relationship, or space. Your outer safety levels depend on how people around you behave and respond to you. It’s influenced by the position you hold in society, and how much power society assigns to the various elements of your identity, such as your race, gender, sexual orientation, appearance, and age.
- In the context of sexuality, outer safety describes how people treat you during intimate interactions. Do people watch out for your boundaries, safety, and well-being? Do they celebrate your impulses and desires? Or do they pursue their own agenda, shame your sexuality, or mean well but aren’t actually capable of noticing or responding to your needs?
- In this retreat, our approach to cultivating outer safety starts with creating awareness of the ways in which we all affect each other’s safety levels. We’ll teach you how to assess whether a situation or interaction is safe or not, and how to increase outer safety. We’ll repeatedly invite you to practice:
- Communicating your needs before and during interactions
- Doing this both verbally and non-verbally
- Pausing or ending an interaction at any time
- Giving feedback—in the moment or later
- Making agreements that make all these things feel easier and more welcome
- Inner safety is how you’ve internalized the levels of safety you’ve experienced throughout your life so far. It’s why you can feel unsafe in situations that objectively are quite safe. (Such as fearing ‘bad’ intentions when someone actually has ‘good’ intentions.)
- In the context of sexuality, inner safety results from cultural norms around sexuality, your personal experiences with intimacy, and the trauma you’ve accumulated throughout your life. These factors will continue to influence how you experience sexuality and physical intimacty in the here and now.
- In this retreat, our approach to cultivating inner safety emphasizes with the nervous system. By building awareness of your nervous system states, you’ll learn to notice when you feel safe or unsafe — and recognize how inner unsafety shapes your thoughts, emotions, behaviors, and your relationship to yourself and others. Once you’ve developed a basic understanding of this, we’ll help you:
- Recognize pleasing, freezing, withdrawing, and pushing as unsafe nervous system states.
- Step out of these behaviors by tending to your nervous system through self- and co-regulation.
- Use resourcing practices to increase your inner sense of safety before stepping into vulnerable interactions.
- A culture that we co-create within the group.
- A skill that each individual can learn and practice.
- We always offer participation options.
In any practice, you can choose to:- Join the practice as it is.
- Adapt our guidance to make it work for you.
- Witness, journal, nap, meditate, or chill.
- We create clear agreements within the group.
We communicate about consent before the retreat, discuss it during intake calls, introduce agreements and awareness at the start of the retreat, and repeatedly come back to this during the days. - We embody consent culture within the team.
We believe that a healthy consent culture starts with us. For example, if we would pressure each other during team meetings, or if Mette (the retreat initiator) would push team members to go beyond their limits, that would seed an unhealthy consent culture that would ripple through the retreat. So while you many not see this part, we actively practice consent behind the scenes — long before the retreat begins. - We teach you how to navigate consent within interactions.
We’ll teach you to:- Communicate what you do and don’t want upfront
- Pause, end, or redirect interactions at any time
- Check in during an interaction
- Reflect together afterward to learn what worked and what didn’t
- We constantly come back to learning.
We don’t aim for perfection and don’t shame those whoe made mistakes. We do want you to pay attention to what works and doesn’t work. We require that you’re open to learning together and adjusting your ways. If a boundary is crossed, we we see it as an opportunity to improve our skills and increase trust by creating intentional moments of repair. - We provide practical and emotional support.
If giving or receiving a ‘no’ feels difficult or uncomfortable, you don’t have to deal with that alone. The team is available to support you in working through those feelings, so that over time, saying no — and hearing no — can become something you genuinely respect, appreciate, and even enjoy.
Inner safety
Consent
We define consent as: an agreement about how you interact with someone. This applies to physical interactions, but also to checking if someone truly wants to hear your life story over lunch.
When you get better at navigating consent, it becomes safer and more enjoyable to physically interact with others. It also makes it more attractive for others to interact with you. Within the retreat, we treat consent as both:
Here’s how we work with each:
Consent culture
We seed our consent culture in many different ways, such as:
Consent as a skill
We treat consent as a skill that’s taught to every single participant:
The fear of feeling not managing to connect is common when people sign up for this kind of retreat—especially when it's your first time. And it makes sense: it ties in directly with two of the most common core wounds: loneliness and unworthiness. Over the years of facilitating this retreat, I’ve noticed two things when it comes to the reality of making connections:
- Connection comes to those who show up vulnerably and are open to human connection in the broadest sense of the word.
- There are many things we (the team) can do to make it easier for those who are willing to be open.
So part of it is mindset and part of it is setup. Let me talk about each:
The setup of the retreat
Here’s how we make it easier for you to make connections:
- We focus on creating individual connections early in the retreat.
- We offer many exercises where you'll automatically connect with people.
- We create reflection moments where you’ll exchange about your experiences, which creates a sense for each other as people.
- We offer shared meals where you get to know each other in a more relaxed setting.
- We create a culture where it’s welcome to approach people (and celebrated decline in moments when you don’t want to connect).
- We set up the open spaces in such a way that enables various forms of connection.
Your mindset
Here’s what doesn’t work:
- Coming to this retreat as a way to find quick sex.
- Limiting yourself to only interacting with specific types of bodies.
- Focusing all your energy on having sensual experiences without being open to other types of human connection.
- Getting fixated on the few people you fancy the most.
Here’s what works better:
- Being open to pairing up with different kinds of people, including people of your own gender.
- Pairing up with that cute person if both of you want to, but not getting fixated on them.
- Communicating what you need in order to feel comfortable with someone; asking for support if you don’t feel comfortable, and allowing yourself to not pair up with someone when it doesn’t feel right.
- Being vulnerable, bringing yourself in, and trusting that if we all feed the ‘group organism’ it tends to pay off in unexpected ways.
First and foremost, this retreat is a place for personal transformation in community. Throughout the program, you’ll be invited to use the connection with others to connect more deeply with yourself. The various activities can serve as mirrors that help you explore your patterns and desires, shine light on topics that have been holding you back, and play with your sense of self.
Throughout the days, you can connect with yourself, your body, and others in different kinds of ways, such as dancing, cuddling, practicing to welcome your body, asking for what you want, saying no, consciously exchanging touch, negotiating touch, and emergent touch. We'll work with words, sounds, and embodied practices to move stuff that may have been lingering in your system for some time. Some practices are done solo, some are in connection with other individuals, and some are in connection with the entire group.
The following applies to all practices and open spaces:
- It’s never required to be sensual, sexual, sexy, naked, or in physical contact with others.
- Most practices are done with clothes on. Some practices, like body-acceptance practices or touch practices, can include partial or full nudity. This is always optional.
- We’ll never frame sensuality or nudity as the ‘right’ way to do a practice. Some of of the practices may take a sensual form if all people involved want to take it in this direction. These same practices can be done in non-sensual ways. We’ll celebrate you for both.
Interactions with team members
- Team members don't share arousal, sexual energy, or romance with participants or each other—during or after the retreat.
- Team members can be approached for co-regulation and non-sexual touch, but won’t pursue anything beyond that, and we ask you not to pursue anything beyond that with them.
- Sometimes, team members will join in on practices, including touch practices, to balance out the numbers. In such moments, the boundaries will be clearly communicated.
A 2025 participant described it as “a group of very daring people that embarked on a journey of vulnerability around the topics of consent, desire and boundaries, sensuality and play.”
We welcome people of all backgrounds and identities
The application form is open to anyone.
If your body, gender identity, gender expression, sexual orientation, or the ways in which you live and love are outside the norm, we’re super happy to have you, and we understand that joining a space like this may feel extra sensitive. If your identity or way of expressing yourself is more mainstream, we’re equally happy to have you.
Either way, we’ll have a 45-minute intake call to discuss how we can support you, how you can support yourself, and what we expect from you in contributing to a safe and welcoming space for others.
Photos of previous groups
And here's what they thought of it:
- “This retreat went over my expectations. I found everything and more of what my soul needed. The team was able to create a true center of worldwide love where, personally, I could find my center, open my heart, connect with my true self and re-open myself to the outside world.”
- “From observing and receiving the way Mette guided the space with vulnerable enthusiasm, it is clear that he truly cares for this work, and deeply desires for humanity to live more authentically. I really appreciated the unselfish and transparent way he shared his tools and learnings, and the level of detail he put into the organisational planning.”
- “It’s a few days past the retreat and I’m still buzzing. My heart cracked open and I’m still feeling through the things that came up. I’m full of love, compassion, respect and softness. At the same time the strong urge to be real came to the surface. Starting with being true with myself and my intentions. After months of not feeling like myself I experienced the retreat as the perfect soil to root, grow and blossom. It was a space for me to be seen in my full authentic expression. Not to be judged but to be honored in my uniqueness. I’m full of gratitude for the space, the people and the team. Mette is an amazing person and facilitator. He’s leading the space with softness, playfulness, strength and stability. I fully recommend attending his work.”
- “For me the journey through this weekend felt perfecty thought out and absolutely smooth. The whole experience was mindblowing for me. I would have never expected that the very well written story in the description would come true in the way it feels right now. I left a lot of things behind me on Friday/Saturday morning and it was a huge pleasure to rebirth again on Saturday. A lot of things were not in my 'usual' comfort zone, but you created a space where I felt so safe and self confident, that I couldn't do anything else than following my inner truth, curiosity and just let it flow. There was a lot processing inside of me last week, a lot of feelings came up, but at the same time I feel totally calm, with me and can always feel the sparkle in my eyes which is the precious outcome of this Retreat for me.”
- “I feel deeply grateful about this experience. The retreat empowered me to ask for what I want and to more openly say what I don´t want. It also gifted me with beautiful connections to some really lovely people. Mette is a thoughtful, creative and caring teacher who seems to truly embody what he is inviting us to bring into the world. He also managed to bring together a diverse team that seemed like a great mix of wonderful talents to hold and enrich this container.”
- “This was a very transformative weekend for me. I've been to many retreats before, but I've never felt so safe to fully let go, thanks to the team who created and held space. Everything was so well organised, the exercises were well planned and explained. It made me feel 100% safe and willing to give it my all. The group dynamic was amazing and it's the result of the safe space that was created by the facilitators. I wish everyone could have such a good experience at a retreat. Usually I feel very emotionally drained after a weekend like this, but this time I felt immense joy and peace within myself. I felt reborn and loving life and myself. Not to forget the amazing chefs who nourished us with delicious vegan food made with love and so much yumminess!!! I hope there will be many more retreats. This was truly something.”
- “I’ve had an amazing experience at Rebirthing the Sensual Self. Usually with these kinds of things I don’t really pay attention to the progression throughout because it’s often just blablabla. During this weekend though, I did truly let go of a lot of stuff that’s no longer serving me before reawakening new parts of me that may now come out and shine. Wonderful! Also the group was just amazing with such a diversity of interesting beautiful humans to teach each other and explore together. Growth, learning, connection, development and relaxation. All made possible by the amazing facilitation and wonderful food. Thank you!”
“I stepped out of my everyday life and embarked on an explorative excursion outside my comfort zone. I could meet my challenges with an open heart and now understand how internal and external ‘permissions’ influence my state of being. I gained many other valuable insights and long-term shifts.” — A 2025 participant
You’re so welcome to Join us in the farmhouse
Registration is now open:
Checked out the prices?
Feeling excited — and maybe a little scared?
Great, you’re definitely not alone in this! And you’re so welcome to join us on this journey:
Sign up in 3 steps
- Fill out the registration form:
Open the form - Schedule an intake call
You’ll get a link after filling out the form. - Make the initial payment
You don’t have to pay right away — installment plans are available.
Cancelled because the venue is closing
Or schedule a 30-minute call with Mette
If you can, please sign up early. It gives you time to mentally prepare, and helps us know who to expect.
Still unsure?
Book a discovery call with Mette.
“It’s really not that cold!”
– some annoying person who jumped in the water before you
Maybe you worry about having to do certain things; maybe you fear not fitting in; maybe you need some details about the sleeping situation; maybe you wonder if this is just a gigantic orgy (it's not); or maybe you wonder if you’ll like me (Mette) as a person?
Many people spiral back and forth between yes and no. But not all spirals are the same. Here are two types of doubts people tell me about:
1. Actual life concerns:
- “I have wayyyyy too many things going on. Adding something will send me straight into a burnout.”
- “I know it’s not the right time, but I fear this is my last chance!”
- “I'm really low on cash, and spending more money will affect my ability to pay rent or buy food.”
If this is you, then now is probably not the best time to join. (Maybe read about nervous system regulation through shaking on my Telegram.)
2. Fear of doing something new:
- “Part of me is excited! But I’m also a little afraid”
- “I have little experience in these spaces — and I fear I’ll be the only one.”
- “I don’t yet know anyone there — and I fear I’ll feel awkward or alone.”
This is what I call “normal” fear or resistance. So, at the risk of sounding persuasive, here’s my take on it:
- You won’t be the only inexperienced one. Most participants don’t yet know each other. Rather, we gradually form a bond over the course of experience. That’s the beauty!
- Many people are new to certain aspects of the experiences, and many arrive with insecurities — especially if it’s their first time. I sometimes think feeling a little scared is almost a prerequisite for joining because it shows you’re on your edge of growth.
- Sometimes, it’s helpful to stop overthinking this upfront, remember that you can always leave if it truly doesn’t work for you, and take a leap of faith. Often, the annoying person in the water turned out to be right: the water really isn’t that cold.
Break the spiral by having a chat with me on Zoom. In 15-20 minutes, you’ll likely find more clarity than after days of thinking about it. We can talk about the retreat, a specific challenge in your life, or simply make small-talk and have a laugh.
Free, online calls to:
- Get a sense of me (Mette) and my facilitation style
- Get a taste of the kinds of exercises and theory we include in this retreat
- Meet others who consider joining the retreat.
- Ask questions or voice your doubts
There are two calls scheduled:
- Thu 19 Feb Dec 2025 (19:30–21:30 CET, zoom)
Join this Orientation Call - Tue 31 Mar 2026 (19:30–21:30 CET, zoom)
Join this Orientation Call
Rebirthing the Sensual Self happens most years in April or May in Berlin. To be the first to hear about the next edition, follow me on Telegram, Instagram, or Facebook. Or join the mailing list:
You may also be interested in
- Safe & free: in community (6–8 Feb 2026, Berlin)
- Envision your path (6–8 Mar 2026, Berlin)
- Embody your vision (10–12 Apr 2026, Berlin)
Check out all my events.
“It impacted me in so many positive ways beyond my sexuality/sensuality. I had a number of epiphanies about topics I had been stuck on while discussing them in therapy for years.” — Chris (participated in 2025)
Yes, we take this seriously: Values & accountability
The following values are the foundation for all my work. If these don't resonate with you, then we may not be a match. Of course, these values are always a work in progress. If something about them doesn’t feel right, or if you have ideas for improvement, I would love to hear from you. Message me on Telegram or through the contact form.
If it ever feels like I or any of the team members don't live up to these values, I would love for you to tell me.
- Authenticity: Everyone's invited to verbally, physically, and emotionally express themselves. We can play with our expression without justifying ourselves, yet we strive to do so in a way that’s considerate of other people.
- Inclusivity: We welcome all identities and personal backgrounds. We try to notice the judgments and assumptions we make about others, and question racism, sexism, ageism, ableism, homophobia, transphobia, or other discriminatory beliefs or behavior.
- Consent: We respect each other's space, stuff, boundaries and privacy. We share a responsibility to create a safe environment for ourselves as well as for others.
- Confidentiality: We don’t share about other people’s experiences. We don’t comment on other people’s experiences without their consent.
- Self and group responsibility: We’re try to look after our own well-being and ask for help when we need it—even when we don't know what we need. We try to be aware how we take up space, and strive to contribute to the safety of the group.
- No sex or romance with team members: Team members don't share arousal, sexual energy, or romance with participants. (We might like to share hugs or other forms of touch though!)
- No intoxication: We don't consume drugs and alcohol during or before the event, and limit the use of phones/devices in public spaces.
Lots of beautiful things can happen in spaces like these. You may also encounter interactions that don’t work for you—even when everyone has the best intentions. This can often be repaired when everyone involved is willing to have a vulnerable conversation about what happened.
If you have an unpleasant experience with a team member or fellow participant, I encourage you to reach out to them directly. If that doesn’t work or feels like too much, you’re very welcome to contact me (Mette) via Telegram or the contact form, or to contact any other team member. I/we may be able to support you and won’t take any action without your consent.
If you have an unpleasant experience with me (Mette), you're invited to reach out to me directly, contact another team member, or approach my accountability partner Anouk Bongers. She won't communicate with me unless you consent to it. You can find her contact details here.
If you’re still carying something that happened a long time ago, I want to acknowledge that it can take time to process certain experiences. Sometimes months or years. The offer above remains valid. There’s no such thing as reaching out too late.
(To see the actual prices, click here)
Working independently in a sustainable way comes with many invisible costs. Because event prices in this field are sometimes perceived as high or ‘commercial’, I want to be transparent about how they are calculated — and how different price levels work out for me.
Please don't let this overview stop you from joining or from choosing a price that’s workable for you. All I ask is that you understand what each price point translates to on my side.
| The fully sustainable donation (incl. VAT) | €1133 |
| If I let go of... | The donation is... |
| Nothing | €1133 |
| Attending trainings & events to improve & promote my work | €1024 |
| Taking vacation | €916 |
| Taking time off on public holidays | €872 |
| Taking time off when I'm sick | €829 |
| Being insured for when I truly can't work | €785 |
| Saving up for business challenges | €671 |
| Saving up for my pension | €445 |
| Adding to my personal savings | €332 |
I will still choose to take time off when I’m sick and take vacation. Not having the full income means that when I do these things, I have to take that money from savings or pension.
I don’t expect everyone to pay the full price
Most people won’t — and that’s OK.
I just want to make visible that when someone pays less, the difference has to come from somewhere. For example: if ten people each donate €200 less than the sustainable amount, that means I'll either need to find a donor or take €2.000 out of my savings/pension.
Some reflective questions you can consider:
- Do you have a job, savings, financial support, a family you can rely on, or time to make some money on the side?
- Do you have stable housing, citizenship, and good health? Do you frequently encounter systemic oppression or discrimination?
- Can you afford to spend time and money on eating out, events, yoga, vacation — or does most of your money go into housing, food, and health?
- How many people depend on you financially — such as children, sick family members, or family abroad?
- Knowing what this program can contribute to your life, is there truly no way to source the money? Or would you simply prefer not to put in that effort?
The actual calculation:
If you’d like to understand the prices in more detail, here’s a description of the calculation:
- I aim to work 5 days a week, 8 hours a day. Out of those hours, roughly 40% of my time goes into things like admin, general promotion, and other general tasks. This means I have around 24 hours per workweek to make my income.
- On a yearly basis, I have to account for vacation, sick days, public holidays, festivals where I work for free to make a name for myself, and the time I spend on training that lets me do this work in a responsible, trauma-informed way. Which leaves me with around 38 work weeks per year.
- This means I have to make my entire annual income in 24 x 38 = 912 hours per year, or 76 hours per month.
- I spend around 168 hours on one edition of Rebirthing the Sensual Self:
- 76 hours of preparation: promotion; venue communication; setting up a team; handling signups and cancellations; chasing payments; communicating with participants, helpers, team members, and the venue; shopping; and many more small tasks.
- 16 hours for travel, setting up the space, and cleaning afterwards
- 60 hours for running the actual event
- 16 hours for tasks after the event: processing feedback forms, evaluating with the team, event-specific administration, returning materials into storage, and so on.
- Besides the time investment, I spend money on overhead costs for my business, renting the venue, paying team members, and buying materials I need for running the program. Depending on how signups are going, I might have to spend money on online promotion, printing flyers, etc.
- Now, to earn the median salary for someone my age (41) in this part of the world, and accommodate for all extra factors like insurances and sick days, I need to generate a shocking €99 for each hour that I work on this event (excluding VAT). To achieve this, I would need to sell 100% of the spots with an average donation of €1.133 per person (in addition to the fixed costs, including VAT).
- Because I want to create inclusive events, I don't charge this kind of amount. Instead, I offer a sliding scale.
- While this enables more people to come to the event, the impact on me is that I have a very low salary and very little security: I basically cut out all of my safety nets. I don't save money, I don't save up for a pension, and I don't have disability insurance. This works as long as I'm healthy, have access to cheap housing, and don't have kids or anyone else to care for. But it offers very little security—now and later in life—and I would be properly screwed whenever I have any medical challenges.
So yes — it's complex...
Thank you for reading all this. If you want to share your reflections—or make a financial donation to support me in offering this work at a price that others can afford—you can message me on Telegram or through the contact form.
Conditions for canceling your ticket
If your spot is taken by someone you found or someone on the waiting list:
- 100% refund minus €75 admin fee
If no one takes your spot:
- Cancel up to 2 months before we start: 100% refund minus €75 admin fee
- Cancel up to 1 month before we start: 50% refund
- Cancel later: no refund
A few things to keep in mind:
- The waiting list only opens once the event is sold out.
- I consider your spot taken when when (a) you found someone to take your spot and they mention your name their application form or (b) the program is full, the spots of any people who cancelled before you have been taken first, and someone on the remaining waiting list takes your spot.
- I'll refund you once the new person has paid in full.
- You can't transfer your spot to someone else without my approval.
- If you haven't paid the full amount and no one has taken your spot, you're obliged to pay all remaining installments—even if you cancelled.
Conditions when I cancel the event:
- 100% refund
“I loved the location, the people and the team. I was surprised by how beautiful many exercises turned out to be. I loved how everyone was so open and different and yet on the same level. The meal times and just sitting at the tables eating were very organic from the start. It was the first time that in a retreat I was able to listen more to my own pace and not needing to fully participate in every exercise. It felt like the integration period I was looking for all year.”
— Lennart D. (participated in 2025)
You scrolled a loooong way. Now, choose wisely:
- Ready to join? Signing up takes just a few minutes
- Want an actual experience first? Join an online orientation call
- Have specific questions? Schedule a free intake call with Mette
- Want to stay in the loop? Follow me on Telegram, Instagram or Facebook