A book about creating real moments and what it means to feel alive.
We create real moments when our outer expression is aligned with our inner truth. But how do we do this? Why is it so hard? And what is our inner truth anyway?
Real Moments, a book by Mette Koppelaar
Lively. Beautiful. Made me deeply reflect on my life.
Roeli, early reader
I feel inspired and more hopeful for my future.
Francesca, early reader
You've hooked me.
Charlie, early reader
It takes a village to write a book
My journey of dressing outside the gender norms turned into a multi-year research project. I'm collecting hundreds of stories and I'm reading thousands of pages. Sometimes, this is deeply satisfying. Sometimes, it is lonely. But: you can support me.
Want to put a smile on my face?
“If you really knew me,” says the person in front of me, “you would know that I sing in the shower every single morning. You would also know that I never, ever sing in front of others.” A slight smile appears on their face as they turn towards the person on their left.
“Okay, let’s see,” the next person says. “If you really knew me, you would know that I come up with around three great business ideas each year, but I never do anything with them. I’d love to change my job, but I’ll probably keep working as a caregiver until the day I retire.” Someone across the table nods in recognition.
“If you really knew me,” says the next person, “you would know that I have only 3% vision in one eye. You would know that I have regular panic attacks because I’m afraid of going blind. I had a really bad one this morning and almost didn’t make it here because of it.” She hesitantly looks around the table, meeting the eyes of some of the others.
It’s the week before the December holidays and I’m visiting Amsterdam to see family and friends. I’ve gathered eight of them around a long table in my favorite Sichuan restaurant in the city. Bright light bulbs are shining through the red paper lanterns above us. Two pots of Jasmine tea have just been brought to our table.
A few minutes ago, one of my friends suggested we play a round of ‘If you really knew me.’ The aim of the game, he explained, isn’t just to share something that others don’t know about you—it’s to share something you don’t want them to know. Everyone agreed to play, so here we are, revealing parts of ourselves that we tend to keep in the dark.
“If you really knew me,” the next person says, “you would know that speaking in front of groups terrifies me. You would know that beneath the grown-up, successful adult that I portray to be, there’s still an insecure little girl. You would know that I’m scared right now as I’m talking to you and that it’s really hard for me to stay present.” Her eyes water up, and her lower lip starts shaking. She sits in silence for a moment before she turns her head toward me.
“If you really knew me...” I say softly as I feel my heart rate go up. “If you really knew me, you would know that... Continue reading...