QKK: Queer Körper Kultur
touch, dance, movement & sauna beyond gender and cultural norms

Date: Wednesday 16 April 2025. Arrive between 18:00 and 18:45. The night ends around 23:30. (You can leave early if that's too late)

Where: Beautiful sauna space near Treptowerpark. (Address follows after registration.)

Costs: Sliding scale between €25 and €35 (including VAT).

Food: You can pre-order some seriously good vegan tacos if you join in time. Don't wait until the last moment. Scroll down to Q&A question 4 for details. You can also bring your dinner and eat it in the space.

Group size: up to 35 people.

The workshop is full and the waiting list is closed. Join the Telegram channel to stay in the loop.

Cancellation: You can transfer your ticket, but they have to fill out the form and mention your name (and be approved by us).

Language: English

Bring: two towels, a sheet to lie on, coins for drinks, clothing that brings comfort or sparks joy (comfy bathrobe, sexy lingerie, or anything in between), a water bottle, and anything you'd like to play with (e.g. shibari ropes or massage oil).

Pets: You can't bring your super cute doggie. I'm sorry.

Nudity/sexuality: Nudity is welcome. Dressing up or down is very welcome if it brings you joy like me (bonus points for gender fluidity) but absolutely not expected. The space is non-sexual.

Accessibility: There are multiple flights of stairs. We’re happy to help out. Please get in touch if you require any assistance.

Telegram channel: @mettekoppelaar

I'm soon hosting my favorite event of the year: Rebirthing the Sensual Self. It's a beautiful sensual retreat from 7-11 May 2025 in Berlin that starts in silence and builds up very slowly. Have a look

Hi, I'm Mette!

Sometimes, I challenge myself by going to the Opera in high heels and a dress 👠 Sometimes, I go to sex-positive events so I can wear a beautiful bra without people making a fuzz about it 👙 Sometimes, I go to ecstatic dance so I can dance freely amongst the liberated souls 👯‍♀️🪩 And, sometimes, I feel too shy to do anything like this, so I sit behind my computer, thinking: “I should create an event again. A place where we can just be free to be whoever and however we want to be.” And next thing you know, there's something called QKK 🦄

As a writer, facilitator, and overall curious human, I look for authentic expression in playful and meaningful ways. I love to play with identity, normalize emotions, expand self-expression, and build connection by exploring our uniqueness as well as our shared humanity.

I became qualified to lead groups in various ways. I repeatedly assisted in the groups of some (pretty brilliant) facilitators like Chris van der Weijde & Rachel Rickards. I attended various professional courses: Internal Family Systems for therapists, the Wheel of Consent Like-a-Pro, the Field Facilitator Training, and multiple courses about the nervous system. However:

I mostly learn by creating. I organized multiple editions of the (currently inactive) Nibana Festival, spent years writing and researching for my book about authentic living, and I've consistently offered courses and retreats for some years now.

I'm soon hosting my favorite event of the year: Rebirthing the Sensual Self. It's a beautiful sensual retreat from 7-11 May 2025 in Berlin that starts in silence and builds up very slowly. Have a look

Hear my personal story
In this 2.5 minute video, I tell you how my desire to dress outside the gender norms eventually led me to do this work:

My social location & lens
When introducing myself, I think it's important acknowledge my lens. I was born in Amsterdam in 1984. I'm racialized as white, able-bodied, and come from a middle-class background. I'm gender nonconforming and use he or they pronouns. I studied AI before it was cool (and obtained my BSc). I've been self-employed since 2007, mainly running small startups and co-working spaces until I turned my life around in 2018. Although I didn’t turn out to be a typical straight cis-male, I did grow up as one. I’ve never had to worry about hunger, housing, or safety, and I’ve never directly experienced war or poverty. My passport allows me to travel wherever I want. I’ve faced financial stress, but only because I chose the uncertainty of self-employment. Mild bullying was part of my early teenage years, but overall, I felt supported. The experiences I consider traumatic pale in comparison to what many others have faced. I haven’t experienced severe intergenerational trauma, and my parents spent years in group therapy before I was born, which greatly contributed to the safety and stability of my family home. While my dressing journey deeply challenged me on a personal level, it fades in comparison to the levels of oppression that exist for the majority of people on this planet.

Photos: Ilse Wolf, Bartjan de Bruijn, Moritz Schachner.

Short answer: this event is for anyone with an open, welcoming mind.

Longer answer: This is a queer space in the sense that we welcome and optimize for experiencing and expressing yourself in ways that are not necessarily aligned with the norm. If your body, sexual orientation, gender identity, gender expression, or the ways in which you live and love are outside the norm, we will love you for it.

I (Mette) do consider myself queer (the same goes for around half of the people on my teams), yet the spaces I create are not queer-only spaces. I welcome everyone, from super queer to those whose identity or expression is more normative, and it's this blend that I enjoy and appreciate.

This is a space where the human need for touch is normalized and invited through guided practices like primal play and '7 minutes in heaven'. It's also a space where it's welcome to exchange touch in the form of cuddling, massage, playfight, and so on. Obviously, it's not a place to touch people without their consent. Softness, attunement, and consent form the foundation for this evening.

This is not a sexual space, meaning that targeted genital touch is not allowed. It's natural for arousal to arise at times, yet we ask you to regulate this, rather than follow it.

The group is different for each of my events, but to give some sort of idea, here's a group photo of the Rebirthing the Sensual Self retreat:

Of course you can! Reyna will serve some seriously good tacos from 18:00 to 21:00. And I can’t emphasize enough how much Reyna loves feeding people.

In her own words:

“When I’m sad, I make Mexican food.
When I need a break, I browse grocery aisles.
When I feel lonely, I invite people to share a meal.”

True story.

🌮 3 Taco Plate + dessert | 8-12€ sliding scale 🍪

Tacos will be available from 18:00 to 21:00, with breaks so Reyna can participate in the night as well :) After you sign up, you can pre-order the tacos through this form, so Reyna knows how much to cook and you won’t miss out.

Yes, we love co-creation! So if you feel like making music or sharing your talents, interests, or creative impulses, please let us know in the signup form and we'll get back to you. (Please note that we don't pay for this.)

Sometimes, I challenge myself by going to the Opera in high heels and a dress 👠

Sometimes, I go to sex-positive events so I can wear a beautiful bra without people making a fuzz about it 👙

Sometimes, I go to ecstatic dance so I can dance freely amongst the liberated souls 👯‍♀️🪩

And, sometimes, I feel too shy to do anything like this, so I sit behind my computer, thinking: “I should create an event again. A place where we can just be free to be whoever and however we want to be.” And next thing you know, there's something called QKK 🦄

In this video, I talk a bit more about my relation to queerness:

The following values are the foundation for this event. If these don't resonate with you, then we may not be a match. Of course, these values are always a work in progress. If something about them doesn’t feel right, or if you have ideas for improvement, we would love to hear from you. Message Mette on Telegram or through the contact form. If it ever feels like the facilitator(s) don't live up to these values, we welcome you to tell us.

1. Authenticity: Everyone's invited to verbally, physically, and emotionally express themselves. We can play with our expression without justifying ourselves, yet we strive to do so in a way that’s considerate of other people.

2. Inclusivity: We welcome all identities and personal backgrounds. We try to notice the judgments and assumptions we make about others, and question racism, sexism, ageism, ableism, homophobia, transphobia, or other discriminatory beliefs or behavior.

3. Consent: We respect each other's space, stuff, boundaries and privacy. We share a responsibility to create a safe environment for ourselves as well as for others.

4. Confidentiality: We don’t share about other people’s experiences. We don’t comment on other people’s experiences without their consent.

5. Self and group responsibility: We try to be aware of the ways in which we take up space and strive to contribute to the safety of the group. We’re all responsible for our own physical and emotional needs.

6. No sex or romance with team members: Team members don't share arousal, sexual energy, or romance with participants. (We might be up for sharing some touch though!)

7. No intoxication: We don't consume drugs and alcohol during or before the event, and stay off our phones/devices in the public spaces (except the little hall where you arrive).

Not all experiences in these kinds of spaces are pleasant – no matter how much we try to do things right.

If you have an unpleasant experience with a team member or fellow participant, we encourage you to contact them directly. Alternatively, you're very welcome to reach out to Mette on Telegram or through the contact form or to any other team member. We may be able to support you and won’t take any action without your consent.

If you have an unpleasant experience with Mette, you may reach out to Mette, to another team member, or to Mette's accountability partner Anouk Bongers. She won't communicate with Mette unless you consent to it. You can find her contact details here.

One more thing: It may take time to process certain experiences. Sometimes months or years. The offer above remains valid. There’s no such thing as reaching out too late.