Safe&free: Within Yourself

When life doesn’t flow, your nervous system is often in a state of unsafety:

• Fight/flight: pushing yourself, overreacting, running on adrenaline. This is often followed by a collapse. (Netflix binge, anyone?)
• Freeze: wanting to act but feeling stuck.
• Collapse: feeling heavy, anxious, or unable to get out of bed.
• Fawn: pretending you’re fine, hiding your true feelings, or pleasing.
• Safety: feeling curious, compassionate, creative, and connected.

These responses are not wrong
They’re clever mechanisms that protect you from real danger. Like when the adrenaline rush of the fight/flight response helps you escape or fight off an attacker. The problem is when you get stuck in these responses, or when they activate because of your deadlines at work.

See yourself through a new lens
As you learn to recognize nervous system states, it will become clear that:

• Your body is always in either safety or unsafety.
• In safety, you can connect. In unsafety, you’re focused on protection.
• These states shape your thoughts, emotions, and what (you think) you want. They heavily color your perception of yourself and others.
• You bring your system back to safety, using self and co-regulation—often in just a few minutes.

Why this matters so much
When you understand this (not in your mind but in your body), it opens the door to a much more authentic life. It prepares you to accept and express yourself more fully.

Which is exactly what we'll explore in step 2.

The goal of this weekend isn’t to become “the most authentic person” or to express every part of yourself all the time. It’s to notice how much outer safety and permission you have to express yourself, and to develop the skills to do so when it feels right. One moment at a time..

In ways that feel authentic to you, and attuned to those around you, you'll be invited to:

• Say what you think
• Express what you feel
• Do what you truly want to do
• Honor your body’s needs and desires

Over time, this brings more inner safety, deeper relationships, and a meaningful and easeful everyday life.

How this weekend gets your there
Here's how we help you get closer to this reality:

• We’ll create a supportive environment
  Together, we create outer safety & permission to welcome your vulnerable, authentic expression.
• We’ll invite you to express yourself
  Through words, emotions, saying no, following your desires, making sound, breathing, movement, appearance, or physical interaction.
• You’ll meet your inner limitations
  Because no matter how much safety & permission we create, you’ll encounter the inner limits that were shaped by your upbringing, life experiences, identity, and the societal structures that restrict certain expressions and identities.
• You’ll create new possibilities
  By taking the right risks, you can experience that it’s possible to reveal more of yourself and still be safe and loved. This grows your inner sense of safety, permission, and freedom.

The safety and permission you build here can gradually start to carry over into new contexts of your life. Which I'll talk about in step 3.

Watch me explain how this happened for me:

This weekend isn’t about fixing or changing who you are. It’s about using the safety of the group to build inner safety—and from there, discover inner freedom.

You’ll practice what makes an authentic life possible:

• Ground yourself when life feels overwhelming.
• Trust your own voice, even when it’s different.
• Express yourself more fully in ways that others can receive.
• Connect with people without losing yourself.

It’s a gradual process
Changing your life takes time and practice, which is why this weekend is part of a six-month program. But even a single weekend can shift how you relate to yourself, others, and the world—simply because this change begins within yourself.

The full picture
Watch me explain the philosophy behind the program in more detail:

Skip to what interests you:

• 00:00:00 — Three levels of humanity
• 00:02:42 — Real Moments
• 00:04:15 — Creating real moments
• 00:06:42 — Safety and permission
• 00:09:00 — The full model
• 00:10:20 — Creating positive imprints
• 00:12:36 — Supportive environments
• 00:14:50 — Confidence, skill & sensitivity
• 00:18:22 — 5 weekends, 5 perspectives
• 00:24:36 — Group conversation

With 20+ contact hours, the weekend allows for a slow start, a soft landing, and many meaningful experiences in between:

• Fri 31 Oct 2025 (18:30 – 22:00)
  A nurturing evening, focused on landing, connecting, and starting the weekend.
• Sat 1 Nov (10:30 – 22:30)
  Daytime practices/experiences to deeply connect with the theme of this weekend. A less structured evening focussed on connection, regulation and/or co-creation.
• Sun 2 Nov (10:30 – 17:30)
  More practices/experiences to deepen and start integrating the journey in everyday life.

Zoom call

• Tue 11 Nov 2025 (19:30 – 21:30 CET)
  Integration call 👩🏼‍💻

Curious?
To spend a weekend with people looking for meaningful connection, sign up or book a free discovery call with Mette.

Practical:

• Group size: 10–25 lovely humans
• Availability: There are still free spots. Join us
• Language: English
• Preparation: When you join, you’ll receive a free copy of part 1 of Mette’s book, which you're invited to read.
• Bring: comfortable, layered clothing, pen&paper, a water bottle, snacks for in between meals—and whatever brings you comfort or joy.

Venue, food, staying over:

• Venue: Karada House, Berlin (listed on google maps as KARA Kulturraum). It's a beautiful, queer, collaborative art space in Berlin Moabit. Photos and accessibility description below.
• Accommodation: It’s possible (and fully optional) to stay at the house on Friday and Saturday night. For €25 per night, you’ll receive a mattress & sheets. You’ll either stay in the workshop space or in another shared space. Limited availability.
• Food: You can bring your own food or go to one of the nearby restaurants during the breaks. Some people will typically eat together.
• Accessibility: There is a ramp and extra bell that can be reached without climbing stairs at the entry. The house has no thresholds. There is an accessible bathroom and shower. The garden can be reached via the garden gate. The only non-accessible parts of the house are the two mezzanines that allow for extra space. There's a parking space available right in front of the door in the backyard. Please get in touch if you require any assistance.
• Pets: You can't bring your super cute doggie. I'm sorry.

Can you picture yourself here?
Sign up or have a book a free discovery call with Mette.

Default prices
Let’s start with the normal prices:

• Join this weekend: €325
  Each weekend can be joined as a standalone experience.
  Includes 19% VAT.
• Join 2 weekends: €305 / weekend
  The 5 weekends build on each other.
• Join 3+ weekends: €290 / weekend
  When possible, we recommend to take the full journey.
• Can’t afford it?
  Scroll down for lower-income options or paying in installments.
  

What you’ll get for this
Each weekend includes:

• 20+ contact hours in person
• A two-hour follow-up call on Zoom
• Early access to part 1 of Mette’s book.
• Ongoing peer support and connection in the Telegram Group
• A committed group of peers who prioritize growth and connection.

Lower-income options
If you’re determined to join, but financially challenged, text me on Telegram or book a call and we’ll find a way.

• Join as a helper: €140 – €250
  Preference for those who need it most. Only 2 spots.
• Request a scholarship
  I can sometimes offer scholarships (25–50% discount).

Pay in installments
It's possible to pay in installments. This brings more risk and administration on my side, so it costs a little more:

• Pay in 2 installments: 1.5% fee
• Pay in 3 installments: 3% fee

Make your choice
You can indicate your price preference in the signup form. Priority for helper spots and scholarships is given to those facing challenging situations or with marginalized identities. Unsure what to do? Book a call call or message me on Telegram.

Mette Koppelaar (they/he, 1984)
Joins weekends: 1, 2, 3, 4 & 5

“I see authentic self-expression as a doorway to welcoming all of myself, building genuine connection, and contributing to a more loving world. It’s made me less dependent on consumption to feel good, helped me transform unhealthy coping mechanisms in more meaningful ways of living, and opened me up to connecting with a much broader range of people.

As a facilitator, I’ve been influenced by frameworks like Polyvagal Theory, the Wheel of Consent, Internal Family Systems, Nonviolent Communication, and the Diamond Approach. I create spaces where people from different identities can learn to be true to themselves, build connection, and contribute to a culture where everyone can feel more free.

My approach rests on a simple principle: when we create enough outer safety and permission, you’ll meet the edges of your inner safety and permission. When you have positive experiences at your edges, you can slowly become more comfortable with a wider range of expression. Over time, this allows you to reveal more of yourself in more areas of life.

I was born in Amsterdam in 1984. I’m white, able-bodied, middle-class, and gender nonconforming, using they/them or he/him pronouns. I grew up with safety and stability, with parents who spent years in group therapy before I was born. I haven’t faced war or poverty, and my passport allows me to travel freely—privileges I’m increasingly aware of. At the same time, dressing outside gender norms has shown me what it’s like to not always feel safe on the street. Research, book interviews, and many personal conversations have deepened my understanding of societal oppression—especially for those whose identities are most targeted. What began as a search to deepen my personal freedom has turned into a deep longing for a free and equal world. It’s what I strive to contribute to, one real moment at a time.”

Connect with me
Book a freecall, join my mailing list, Telegram channel, or Instagram — or watch some of the videos below this photo:

Watch me talk

Why I created Ambassadors For Humanity:

How dressing outside the norm led me to do this work:

Cosima Siegling (she/her, 1996)

Joins weekends: 1, 3 & 5

“I’m deeply engaged with questions of human connection—between people and in relation to the environment. Over the past decade, I’ve focused on creating spaces for political education, community building, and meaningful connection. In this, I bring a strong commitment to consent, clear communication, and space for nuance.

I hold a B.A. in Philosophy and Communication Science and an M.Sc. in Human Ecology, where I explored ethical and structural questions of the human‐environment relationship. Combined with years of designing group processes and learning environments, this gives me a solid toolkit to work with the intersections between individual, cultural, and structural dynamics.

My personal lens is shaped by both privilege and challenge. I’m a white, able-bodied, middle-class woman, born very premature but able to grow into health thanks to modern medicine. I grew up in a conservative Catholic village in southern Germany, later stepping exploring a more secular view. As a pansexual and polyamorous girl/woman, leaving the place I grew up in meant a lot of freedom and space to explore who I am and how I love. At the same time, I was confronted early on (and still am today) with mental illness in my family. At the same time, I experienced a strong foundation of love and support, and had the privilege of accessing therapy at a young age. These contrasts ground my awareness of how both hardship and resources shape our ability to grow, integrate, love and flourish.

A particular focus of mine has been facilitating sex-positive, experiential, and educational spaces — approaching touch, bodies, sexuality, and relationships in an embodied and emancipatory way. Having lived in polyamorous constellations for almost ten years, it’s close to my heart to support people in deconstructing and reimagining their own concepts of love, intimacy, partnership, and sexuality.

I’m truly excited to be part of Ambassadors for Humanity and to share this journey with you.”

Cosima introduces herself
Watch Cosima introducing herself during the Zoom call when this program was not much more than a broad idea:

Anna Schmidbauer
Joins weekends: 1, 2, 3, 4 & 5

Bio coming soon (she's wonderful, though!)

You’re so welcome to join us ❤

• Join the core group:
  Full program signup form
• Pick your dates:
  Weekend signup form
• Can’t choose?
  Book a discovery call (with Mette)

If you can, please sign up early — it gives you time to prepare (mentally) and tells us who to expect.

“It’s really not that cold!”
– some person who jumped in the water before you

Many people spiral back and forth between yes and no. But not all spirals are the same. Here are two types of doubts people tell me about:

1. Actual life concerns:

• “I have wayyyyy too many things going on. Adding something will send me straight into a burnout.”
• “I know it’s not the right time, but I fear this is my last chanc.e”
• “I'm really low on cash, and spending more money will affect my ability to pay rent or buy food.”

If this is you, then now is probably not the best time to join. (Maybe read about nervous system regulation through shaking on my Telegram.)

2. Fear of doing something new:

• “Part of me is excited! But I’m also a little afraid”
• “I have little experience in these spaces — and I fear I’ll be the only one.”
• “I don’t yet know anyone there — and I fear I’ll feel awkward or alone.”

If this is you, it’s what I call “normal” fear or resistance. So, at the risk of sounding persuasive...

Here's my take on it:

• You won’t be the only inexperienced one. Most participants don’t yet know each other. Rather, we all start to form a deep bond over the course of experience. That’s the beauty!
• Many people have these kinds of fears — especially the first time. In fact, it’s almost prerequisite for joining because it shows you’re on your edge of growth.
• I suggest to stop overthinking, remember that you can always leave, and take a leap of faith. The water really isn't that cold.

Free, online gatherings to:

• Decide if you want to join the actual program
• Start building group energy
• Share your voice, ask questions, and let your voice influence the program

There are two calls left:

Each call contains an educational part which shows what to expect from the program & some actual interactive experiences.

• Tue 30 Sep 2025 (19:30–21:30 CET, zoom)
  Join this Orientation Call
• Tue 14 Oct 2025 (19:30–21:30 CET, zoom)
  Join this Orientation Call

This weekend belongs to Ambassadors For Humanity.

There are four more weekends
...which can be joined separately:

• 31 Oct – 2 Nov 2025
  Safe & free within yourself
  Weekend you’re currently looking at
• 28–30 Nov 2025
  Safe & free in connection
  Check out weekend 2
• 6–8 Feb 2026
  Safe & free in community
  Check out weekend 3
• 6–8 Mar 2026
  Envision your path
  Check out weekend 4
• 10–12 Apr 2026
  Embody your vision
  Check out weekend 5

Not this time?

Check out all my events, follow me on Telegram, Instagram, or Facebook.

Or join the mailing list:

The following values are the foundation for all my work. If these don't resonate with you, then we may not be a match. Of course, these values are always a work in progress. If something about them doesn’t feel right, or if you have ideas for improvement, I would love to hear from you. Message me on Telegram or through the contact form.

If it ever feels like I or any of the team members don't live up to these values, I would love for you to tell me.

1. Authenticity: Everyone's invited to verbally, physically, and emotionally express themselves. We can play with our expression without justifying ourselves, yet we strive to do so in a way that’s considerate of other people.

2. Inclusivity: We welcome all identities and personal backgrounds. We try to notice the judgments and assumptions we make about others, and question racism, sexism, ageism, ableism, homophobia, transphobia, or other discriminatory beliefs or behavior.

3. Consent: We respect each other's space, stuff, boundaries and privacy. We share a responsibility to create a safe environment for ourselves as well as for others.

4. Confidentiality: We don’t share about other people’s experiences. We don’t comment on other people’s experiences without their consent.

5. Self and group responsibility: We try to be aware of the ways in which we take up space and strive to contribute to the safety of the group. We’re all responsible for our own physical and emotional needs.

6. No sex or romance with team members: Team members don't share arousal, sexual energy, or romance with participants. (We might like to share hugs or other forms of touch though!)

7. No intoxication: We don't consume drugs and alcohol during or before the event, and limit the use of phones/devices in public spaces.

Not all experiences in these kinds of spaces are pleasant—even when everyone tries to do things right.

If you have an unpleasant experience with a team member or fellow participant, I encourage you to reach out to them directly. Alternatively, you're very welcome to contact me (Mette) via Telegram or the contact form, or to contact any other team member. We may be able to support you. We won’t take any action without your consent.

If you have an unpleasant experience with me (Mette), you're invited to reach out to me directly, contact another team member, or approach my accountability partner Anouk Bongers. She won't communicate with me unless you consent to it. You can find her contact details here.

It may take time to process certain experiences. Sometimes months or years. The offer above remains valid. There’s no such thing as reaching out too late.

Sadly, it’s much easier to make a decent living by working for companies that harm the planet or fuel inequality than it is trying to contribute to a better world.

Since sustainable event prices are often perceived as expensive or “commercial”, I like to be transparent about how the prices were calculated, so you can get a sense of how this works from my side.

The price calculation:

1. I aim to work 5 days a week, 8 hours a day. Out of those hours, roughly 40% of my time goes into things like admin, general promotion, and other general tasks. This means I have around 24 hours per workweek to make my income.
2. On a yearly basis, I have to account for vacation, sick days, public holidays, festivals where I work for free to make a name for myself, and the time I spend on training that lets me do this work in a responsible, trauma-informed way. Which leaves me with around 38 work weeks per year.
3. This means I have to make my entire annual income in 24 x 38 = 912 hours per year, or 76 hours per month.
4. I spend at least 460 hours on one edition of this program:
• 145+ hours of preparation: developing the program; promotion; venue communication; setting up a team; handling signups and cancellations; chasing payments; communicating with participants, helpers, team members, and the venue; shopping; and many more small tasks.
• 275+ hours for preparing and facilitating the actual five weekends
• 40+ hours for preparing and hosting the online calls
5. Besides the time investment, I spend money on overhead costs for my business, renting the venue, paying team members, and buying materials I need for running the program. Depending on how signups are going, I might have to spend money on online promotion, printing flyers, etc.
6. Now, to earn the median salary for someone my age (41) in this part of the world, I have to generate a shocking €104 for each hour that I work on this program (excluding VAT). To achieve this, I would need to have 20 signups for an average of €3.450 per participant, or €690 per weekend (including VAT).
7. To make this program more inclusive, I've lowered my salary to one third (!) of the median, which reduces the average price to €1.850 per person including VAT, which means I rely on additional donations to make it work. It also means that for everyone paying less, there needs to be someone paying more.
8. While this enables more people to come to the event, the impact on me is that I have a very low salary and very little security: I basically cut out all of my safety nets. I don't save money, I don't save up for a pension, and I don't have disability insurance. This works as long as I'm healthy, have access to cheap housing, and don't have kids or anyone else to care for. But it offers very little security—now and later in life—and I would be properly screwed whenever I have any medical challenges.

So, it's complicated...

Bravo if you made it to the end of this. If you want to share your reflections (or make a donation), feel free to message me on Telegram or through the contact form.

Or go back up to the pricing options.