QKK: a queer, sensual temple event / workshop in Berlin

Practical:

• Date & time: Friday 7 November 2025. Arrive between 18:00 – 18:30. Opening circle at 19:00. Closing circle around 01:00. Leave by 01:30 (or earlier).
• Location: Unity Dome: a beautiful loft apartment in Berlin Mitte. (google maps)
• Group size: 30 – 60 lovely humans (which is right for this space)
• Language: English

Money makes the world go ’round:

• Price: Sliding scale from €35 to €142 (incl. VAT).
• Why this range? It keeps the event accessible and gives me a chance to make a living. (price explanation)
• Cancellation: See the Cancellation policy.
• Availability: Still spots. Join us 😇

What to bring:

• Essentials: Two towels, something to lie on (if you want to be naked), clothing that brings comfort or joy (comfy bathrobe, sexy lingerie, or anything in between).

• Up your game: Water bottle, toothbrush, snacks to share, coins for softdrinks, dress-up corner clothes (for others to wear), and anything you'd like to play with (e.g. shibari ropes or massage oil).
• Don’t bring: Drugs, alcohol, pets, or hateful attitudes.
• Co-creation: Want to play music, read a story, guide a game, or something else? Let us know in the signup form or during the night and who knows what might be possible.

Food, drinks & consumables:

• Food: Reyna (@chilereynas) will cook a warm, delicious Mexivegan dinner. Pre-order when you sign up (€15–20), and you can serve yourself when you’re ready. Or bring your own food.
• Drinks: Free tea and water. Softdrinks can be bought with coins.
• Smoking: No smoking indoors or on the balcony. You can take the elevator and have a smoke on the street.
• Drugs & alcohol: The event is drug- and alcohol-free.

Accessibility:

• Venue: There's an elevator and no further stairs. There's a farily big (but otherwise regular) toilet.
• Support: Please reach out if you have specific needs or requests.

QKK is a space where touch is welcome, normalized, and always by choice.

Everything starts with consent

Cuddling, massage, sensuality, and playfighting are all welcome—but always within consent:

• Touching anyone in ways they haven’t agreed to is not okay.
• Move slowly and ask things like “How’s this for you?” so you can stay attuned to others.
• You don’t have to be perfect, but you do need to be coachable (open to feedback).

Guided connection practices

At various moments, I’ll guide non-sexual touch practices to support meaningful encounters.

You can always:

• Join a practice as it is.
• Adapt my guidance to make it work for you.
• Witness, journal, nap, meditate, cuddle, chat, or chill.
• Do something else entirely—alone or together.

Sensuality vs. sexuality

It’s a fine line. Here’s how we approach it:

• Sensuality is welcome throughout the night.
• This is not a sexual space, so please no genital stimulation.
• It’s also not a super kinky space. Shibari and gentle play: yes. Heavy flogging sessions: no.

Clothing and nudity

Again, nothing is expected. You might see:

• Naked bodies.
• People in lingerie or dress-up clothes.
• Others in cozy, everyday clothes.
• Mette changing outfits again and again.

In short

Many things are possible. Nothing is required. Do what feels authentic in any given moment. Allow others that same freedom. And let’s create a beautiful evening together.

Mette Koppelaar (they/them, 1984)

The past decade has been a journey of understanding and accepting my queerness and fluidity. I long to openly embrace and enjoy all of me—and I regularly challenge myself to live my truth in many ways

Sometimes I go to a concert in high heels and a dress. Sometimes I go to sex-positive events so I can wear a beautiful bra without people making a fuzz about it. Sometimes I go to a club or ecstatic dance so I can freely move my hips. And sometimes, I feel too shy for any of that—so I sit behind my computer, thinking: “We need more places where we can simply be whoever and however we are.” And next thing you know, there's something called QKK 🦄

My work

I see authentic self-expression as a doorway to welcoming all parts of myself, building deeper connection, and shaping a more loving world. It helps to:

• Let go of unhealthy coping mechanisms.
• Rely less on consumption to feel good.
• Be open to connecting with a broader range of people.
• Discover meaning in everyday life.

As a facilitator, I create spaces where people from diverse identities can be true to themselves, build trust, and contribute to a culture of freedom and care. I use frameworks like:

• Polyvagal Theory
• Wheel of Consent
• Internal Family Systems
• Nonviolent Communication
• Diamond Approach
• Buddhism

My approach is simple: when there’s enough outer safety and permission to express yourself, you’ll meet the edges of your inner safety and permission. Having positive experiences at your edges, you can slowly become more comfortable with a wider range of expression. Over time, this allows you to reveal more of yourself in more areas of life.

My lens and ambition

I was born in Amsterdam in 1984. I’m white, able-bodied, middle-class, and gender nonconforming, using they/them or he/him pronouns. I grew up with safety and stability, with parents who spent years in group therapy before I was born. I haven’t faced war or poverty, and my passport allows me to travel freely—privileges I’m increasingly aware of.

At the same time, dressing outside gender norms has shown me what it’s like to not always feel safe on the street. Research, book interviews, and many personal conversations have deepened my understanding of societal oppression—especially for those whose identities are most targeted.

What began as a search for personal freedom has turned into a deep longing for a free, just, and equal world. It’s what I strive to contribute to in my work and daily life—one real moment at a time.

A short video about my path of gender-expression and self-acceptance:

So far, QKK has welcomed a sweet mix of bodies, gender identities, and sexual orientations. I'm grateful that trans, gay, nonbinary, or queer folks—alongside cis and heterosexual people—have shared that QKK feels like a safe and joyful place to be.

You’re welcome here, however you identify. All that’s asked is some awareness to the fact that the world doesn’t treat all people equally, and a willingness to treat everyone in the room with respect and care.

Why people come (back) to QKK

• “I felt relaxed and safe to enjoy my body freely, to create new connections and have a sense of community. I wish this would be a regular feeling on the default world.”
  – Lani
• “It felt like a safe space to just relax with my body, which is hard to come by because I'm trans 🏳️‍⚧️ It was really nice to ask myself what my body actually wants and to go through with it. Which isn’t something I often do”
  – Dylan
• “Really appreciating the space you’re creating, facilitating & holding. A beautiful mixture of giving a frame with guidance & invitations & keeping a clarity with self responsibility for everybody. So we could create together & feeling held by your guidance at the same time. Thank you!”
  – Thalia
• “Mette’s spaces breathes the allowance for people to connect authentically, without being tied to any specific modality. I feel invited to define myself in every moment and I appreciate how the crowd at his events seem to overlap on kindness, warmth, and cuteness.”
  – Joakim
• “This venue and party itself were what I was longing for and have talked to the people since a longer time, how cool it would be to have something sex positive in Berlin but sober, nurturing and kind of yoga related on many levels, from respective, gentle and consent oriented attidue towards each other, to kinds of music and aesthetics. I'm so glad I went there and I hope it will become a reagular event.”
  – Olaf
• “The beautiful thing was to have the space for myself in my real state. I was really tired when I came and didn't actually want to do anything. And I managed. Managed to give myself the space to be tired, bored and to do nothing without judging and any pressure. And exactly that created safety and beauty of the evening for me. And from there my real wishes and ideas came. And also my big joy was the opportunity to change outfit as much as I want :) But the most important experience for me was not to receive what I badly wanted and to figure out my inner reason for that to be able later to become closer and more honest with my partner in things which I didn't notice before.”
  – Kris
• “Loving, caring and relaxed event where you can take the time to reconnect with yourself”
  – Vincent
• “QKK was a calm and relaxing experience, with a nice amount of spicyness through the group activities. Yay for sauna & workshop!”
  – Janis
• “On the day of the event, I felt very insecure about whether I want to go to. With Mettes authentic and heartfelt approach I soon felt the insecurities disappear, which paved the way for a beautiful evening full of relaxation and true encounters.”
• “I didn't feel so great that day and had to force myself a bit to go, but I was glad that I did. The atmosphere was very welcoming, relaxed, and non-judgemental, which was really great. I haven't participated in comparable spaces/events much before, and I feel that I'm still in the process of becoming comfortable and trusting in these kinds of environment. The QKK event was immensily helpful with that. The opportunity to experiment with clothing was great. I felt insecure about this before the event, but then I felt more confident to show myself in a way I usually don't once I settled in. Sadly, I wasn't in a very socialable emotional state that day, but there was no pressure to participate and connect, which I would've loved to have been able to do more, but the space and wonderful people gave me the feeling to be fully accepted and welcome anyway, which made me feel comfortable with everybody and myself. I'd love for QKK to become a recurring event!”
  – Lotte
• “A cozy and playful evening with fun people and amazing food.”
  – James
• “It was just the best evening after a horribly stressful day - and the best way to slip into easter vacation mood and relaxation and playfulness and getting back to reconnect with my physical, emotional, sensitive and sensual self - and have a lovely experience and lots of fun with others, and a deep yes to being honest, authentic, conscious, vulnerable, playful and bold at the same time!”
  – Taro
• “For me it was the right moment and the right time and the right event. The exercises encouraged me to move from deep relaxation with my own body. The spaceholding was light though profound. This was mostly about being deeply connected with self while co-creating connections with others. Of course it was sexy and sometimes uncomfortable. The naming of power structures and the soft laughs around specific group dynamics concerning power really helped to make even more fun.”
  – Roosien

Yes! Come dance, cuddle, play, and sweat:

• Fri 7 Nov 2025: fill out the form

Availability: There are still free spots

Signing up early: It really, really helps us. And we don’t send those “only a few spots left” reminders, so it also keeps you from missing out.

To see my other events, go here.

The next edition of QKK
...happens on Friday 27 February 2026 (same time and place).

To receive a notification when tickets go on sale, follow me on Telegram, Instagram, or Facebook. Or join the QKK mailing list:

The following values are the foundation for all my work. If these don't resonate with you, then we may not be a match. Of course, these values are always a work in progress. If something about them doesn’t feel right, or if you have ideas for improvement, I would love to hear from you. Message me on Telegram or through the contact form.

If it ever feels like I or any of the team members don't live up to these values, I would love for you to tell me.

1. Authenticity: Everyone's invited to verbally, physically, and emotionally express themselves. We can play with our expression without justifying ourselves, yet we strive to do so in a way that’s considerate of other people.

2. Inclusivity: We welcome all identities and personal backgrounds. We try to notice the judgments and assumptions we make about others, and question racism, sexism, ageism, ableism, homophobia, transphobia, or other discriminatory beliefs or behavior.

3. Consent: We respect each other's space, stuff, boundaries and privacy. We share a responsibility to create a safe environment for ourselves as well as for others.

4. Confidentiality: We don’t share about other people’s experiences. We don’t comment on other people’s experiences without their consent.

5. Self and group responsibility: We try to be aware of the ways in which we take up space and strive to contribute to the safety of the group. We’re all responsible for our own physical and emotional needs.

6. No sex or romance with team members: Team members don't share arousal, sexual energy, or romance with participants. (We might like to share hugs or other forms of touch though!)

7. No intoxication: We don't consume drugs and alcohol during or before the event, and limit the use of phones/devices in public spaces.

Not all experiences in these kinds of spaces are pleasant—even when everyone tries to do things right.

If you have an unpleasant experience with a team member or fellow participant, I encourage you to reach out to them directly. Alternatively, you're very welcome to contact me (Mette) via Telegram or the contact form, or to contact any other team member. We may be able to support you. We won’t take any action without your consent.

If you have an unpleasant experience with me (Mette), you're invited to reach out to me directly, contact another team member, or approach my accountability partner Anouk Bongers. She won't communicate with me unless you consent to it. You can find her contact details here.

It may take time to process certain experiences. Sometimes months or years. The offer above remains valid. There’s no such thing as reaching out too late.

Sadly, it’s much easier to make a decent living by working for companies that harm the planet or fuel inequality than it is trying to contribute to a better world.

Since sustainable event prices are often perceived as expensive or “commercial”, I like to be transparent about how the prices were calculated, so you can get a sense of how this works from my side.

The price calculation:

1. I aim to work 5 days a week, 8 hours a day. Out of those hours, roughly 40% of my time goes into things like admin, general promotion, and other general tasks. This means I have around 24 hours per workweek to make my income.
2. On a yearly basis, I have to account for vacation, sick days, public holidays, festivals where I work for free to make a name for myself, and the time I spend on training that lets me do this work in a responsible, trauma-informed way. Which leaves me with around 38 work weeks per year.
3. This means I have to make my entire annual income in 24 x 38 = 912 hours per year, or 76 hours per month.
4. I spend around 62 hours on one edition of QKK:
• 40 hours of preparation: promotion; venue communication; setting up a team; handling signups and cancellations; chasing payments; communicating with participants, helpers, team members, and the venue; shopping; and many more small tasks.
• 6 hours for travel, setting up the space, and cleaning afterwards
• 8 hours for running the actual event
• 8 hours for tasks after the event: processing feedback forms, evaluating with the team, event-specific administration, returning materials into storage, and so on.
5. Besides the time investment, I spend money on overhead costs for my business, renting the venue, paying team members, and buying materials I need for running the program. Depending on how signups are going, I might have to spend money on online promotion, printing flyers, etc.
6. Now, to earn the median salary for someone my age (41) in this part of the world, and accommodate for all extra factors like insurances and sick days, I need to generate a shocking €104 for each hour that I work on this event (excluding VAT). To achieve this, I would need to sell 100% of the tickets for an average of €142 per ticket (including VAT).
7. Because I want to create inclusive events, I don't charge this kind of amount. Instead, I aim for less than half: €62 per person including VAT.
8. While this enables more people to come to the event, the impact on me is that I have a very low salary and very little security: I basically cut out all of my safety nets. I don't save money, I don't save up for a pension, and I don't have disability insurance. This works as long as I'm healthy, have access to cheap housing, and don't have kids or anyone else to care for. But it offers very little security—now and later in life—and I would be properly screwed whenever I have any medical challenges.

So, it's complicated...

Bravo if you made it to the end of this. If you want to share your reflections (or make a donation), feel free to message me on Telegram or through the contact form.

Conditions for canceling your ticket

If your spot is taken by someone you found or someone on the waiting list:

• 100% refund minus €9 admin fee

If no one takes your spot:

• Cancel up to 1 month before we start: 100% refund minus €9 admin fee
• Cancel up to 2 weeks before we start: 50% refund
• Cancel later: no refund

A few things to keep in mind:

• The waiting list only opens once the event is sold out.
• I consider your spot taken when when (a) you found someone to take your spot and they mention your name their application form or (b) the program is full, the spots of any people who cancelled before you have been taken first, and someone on the remaining waiting list takes your spot.
• I'll refund you once the new person has paid in full.
• You can't transfer your spot to someone else without my approval.
• If you haven't paid the full amount and no one has taken your spot, you're obliged to pay all remaining installments—even if you cancelled.

Conditions when I cancel the event:

• 100% refund