QKK: Queer Körper Kultur
touch, dance, movement & sauna beyond gender and cultural norms

Date: Friday 8 August 2025. Arrive between 18:00 and 18:45. We close the night around 01:30. This is 2 hours longer than last edition! You can leave early if that's too late.

Where: Unity Dome. A beautiful workshop space with sauna in Mitte, Berlin. (Address follows after registration.)

Costs: Choose what you can afford on a sliding scale from €35 to €142 (including VAT). This scale is explained in detail under FAQ question 8 at the bottom of this page.

Food: Reyna (@chilereynas) will serve some seriously good vegan tacos between 6-7pm, and after the opening part (which is roughly from 7-8pm). Pre-order in the signup form if you want some. You can also bring your own food.

Group size: up to 50 wonderful participants.

Availability: 30% full. Last edition sold out weeks in advance.

Registration: sign up here. Or join the Telegram channel to be the first to know about future editions.

Cancellation policy: See the 'Cancellation policy' box below.

Language: English

Bring: two towels, a sheet to lie on, your own non-alcoholic drinks, snacks, clothing that brings comfort or sparks joy (comfy bathrobe, sexy lingerie, or anything in between), a water bottle, and anything you'd like to play with (e.g. shibari ropes or massage oil).

Pets: You can't bring your super cute doggie. I'm sorry.

Nudity/sexuality: Nudity is welcome. Dressing up or down is very welcome if it brings you joy (bonus points for gender fluidity) but absolutely not expected. The space is non-sexual.

Accessibility: There's an elevator and no further stairs. Please get in touch to check specific requirements.

Telegram channel: @mettekoppelaar

From last edition's feedback form:

Hi, I'm Mette!

Sometimes, I challenge myself by going to the Opera in high heels and a dress 👠 Sometimes, I go to sex-positive events so I can wear a beautiful bra without people making a fuzz about it 👙 Sometimes, I go to ecstatic dance so I can dance freely amongst the liberated souls 👯‍♀️🪩 And, sometimes, I feel too shy to do anything like this, so I sit behind my computer, thinking: “I should create an event again. A place where we can just be free to be whoever and however we want to be.” And next thing you know, there's something called QKK 🦄

As a writer, facilitator, and overall curious human, I look for authentic expression in playful and meaningful ways. I love to play with identity, normalize emotions, expand self-expression, and build connection by exploring our uniqueness as well as our shared humanity. In my spaces, I cultivate a deep sense of permission for you to fully follow your yeses and your no’s, and create imprints that support that same permission in other areas of your life.

I'm deeply invested in facilitating groups responsibly. Years ago, I started by participating and assisting some pretty brilliant facilitators like Chris van der Weijde & Rachel Rickards. I attended professional courses such as Internal Family Systems for therapists, the Wheel of Consent Like-a-Pro, the Field Facilitator Training, and multiple courses about the nervous system. Later, I co-facilitated with a range of wonderful facilitators and started creating my own containers.

Creation has always been my main way of learning. And to be honest, I've probably learned the most from my mistakes. Having said that, I've also learned a lot from successful projects like creating multiple editions of the (currently inactive) Nibana Festival from scratch, dedicating years to writing and researching my book about authentic living, and spending the past few years offering courses and retreats about authenticity, vulnerability, sexuality, freedom, and co-creating a better world.

My social location & lens
When introducing myself, I think it's important acknowledge my lens. I was born in Amsterdam in 1984. I'm racialized as white, able-bodied, and come from a middle-class background. I'm gender nonconforming and use he or they pronouns. I studied AI before it was cool (and obtained my BSc). I've been self-employed since 2007, mainly running small startups and co-working spaces until I turned my life around in 2018. Although I didn’t turn out to be a typical straight cis-male, I did grow up as one. I’ve never had to worry about hunger, housing, or safety, and I’ve never directly experienced war or poverty. My passport allows me to travel wherever I want. I’ve faced financial stress, but only because I chose the uncertainty of self-employment. Mild bullying was part of my early teenage years, but overall, I felt supported. The experiences I consider traumatic pale in comparison to what many others have faced. I haven’t experienced severe intergenerational trauma, and my parents spent years in group therapy before I was born, which greatly contributed to the safety and stability of my family home. While my dressing journey deeply challenged me on a personal level, it fades in comparison to the levels of oppression that exist for the majority of people on this planet.

Hear my personal story
In this 2.5 minute video, I tell you how my desire to dress outside the gender norms eventually led me to do this work:

Photos: Ilse Wolf, Bartjan de Bruijn, Moritz Schachner.

Conditions for canceling your ticket

If your spot is taken by someone you found or someone on the waiting list:

• 100% refund minus €9 admin fee

If no one takes your spot:

• Cancel up to 1 month before we start: 100% refund minus €9 admin fee
• Cancel up to 2 weeks before we start: 50% refund
• Cancel later: no refund

A few things to keep in mind:

• The waiting list only opens once the event is sold out.
• I consider your spot taken when when (a) you found someone to take your spot and they mention your name their application form or (b) the course is full, the spots of any people who cancelled before you have been taken first, and someone on the remaining waiting list takes your spot.
• I'll refund you once the new person has paid in full.
• You can't transfer your spot to someone else without my approval.
• If you haven't paid the full amount and no one has taken your spot, you're obliged to pay all remaining installments—even if you cancelled.

Conditions when I cancel the event:

• 100% refund

Short answer: this event is for anyone with an open, welcoming mind.

Longer answer: This is a queer space in the sense that we welcome and optimize for experiencing and expressing yourself in ways that are not necessarily aligned with the norm. If your body, sexual orientation, gender identity, gender expression, or the ways in which you live and love are outside the norm, we will love you for it.

I (Mette) consider myself queer and the same goes for around half of the people who tend to be on my teams. Having said that, the spaces I create are not queer-only spaces. I welcome everyone, from super queer to those whose identity or expression is more normative, and it's this blend that I value and enjoy.

This is a space where the human need for touch is normalized and invited. I offer a range of optional guided practices like primal play and '7 minutes in heaven' to make it easier to find touch. I'll repeatedly emphasize tthat partnering up, doing a practice solo, witnessing, journaling, napping, or doing something else emtirely are equally valid forms of participation.

Aside from the guided practices, exchanging touch in the form of cuddling, massage, playfight, etc, is super welcome. Obviously, it's not a place to touch people without their consent, and it's also not a space where the team expects you to engage in any of this. Softness, attunement, consent, and agency form the foundation for this evening.

This is not a sexual space, meaning that targeted genital touch is not allowed. It's natural for arousal to show up at times, yet we ask you to regulate this arousal, rather than follow it.

My experience with QKK so far is that there's a sweet mix of different bodies, gender identities, and sexual orientations. I'm very happy that some trans people have told me QKK felt like a very safe space to them even though there were plenty of cis-gendered people around. Some gay people told me the same even though there were plenty of hetero people. All to say that it's a wonderfully connected mix.

At the bottom of this page you can find some photos that were taken in the sensual photo booth of last edition. Additionally, here are two group photos of different editions of the Rebirthing the Sensual Self retreat. The crowd is slightly different there, but I think it captures the energy well:

★★★★★ “I felt relaxed and safe to enjoy my body freely, to create new connections and have a sense of community. I wish this would be a regular feeling on the default world.”
- Lani

★★★★★ “It felt like a safe space to just relax with my body, which is hard to come by because I'm trans 🏳️‍⚧️ It was really nice to ask myself what my body actually wants and to go through with it. Listening to my body isn’t something I often do”
- Dylan

★★★★★ “Really appreciating the space you’re creating, facilitating & holding. A beautiful mixture of giving a frame with guidance & invitations & keeping a clarity with self responsibility for everybody. So we could create together & feeling held by your guidance at the same time. Thank you!”
- Thalia

★★★★★ “Mette’s spaces breathes the allowance for people to connect authentically, without being tied to any specific modality. I feel invited to define myself in every moment and I appreciate how the crowd at his events seem to overlap on kindness, warmth, and cuteness.”
- Joakim

★★★★★ “This venue and party itself were what I was longing for and have talked to the people since a longer time, how cool it would be to have something sex positive in Berlin but sober, nurturing and kind of yoga related on many levels, from respective, gentle and consent oriented attidue towards each other, to kinds of music and aesthetics. I'm so glad I went there and I hope it will become a reagular event.”
- Olaf

★★★★ “The beautiful thing was to have the space for myself in my real state. I was really tired when I came and didn't actually want to do anything. And I managed. Managed to give myself the space to be tired, bored and to do nothing without judging and any pressure. And exactly that created safety and beauty of the evening for me. And from there my real wishes and ideas came. And also my big joy was the opportunity to change outfit as much as I want :) But the most important experience for me was not to receive what I badly wanted and to figure out my inner reason for that to be able later to become closer and more honest with my partner in things which I didn't notice before.”
- Kris

★★★★★ “Mette created a playful sparkling room in which it was easy to feel authentic, safe, welcome and respected. In this room one could experiment new experiences, express oneself and just be free.”

★★★★★ “Loving, caring and relaxed event where you can take the time to reconnect with yourself”
- Vincent

★★★★ “QKK was a calm and relaxing experience, with a nice amount of spicyness through the group activities. Yay for sauna & workshop!”
- Janis

★★★★ “On the day of the event, I felt very insecure about whether I want to go to. With Mettes authentic and heartfelt approach I soon felt the insecurities disappear, which paved the way for a beautiful evening full of relaxation and true encounters.”

★★★★ “Safe(r) space with great combination of relaxing, exploring, meeting, and daring. I felt my own body in sauna and other bodies in some group exercises. Enjoyed the freedom to be myself without the need to perform or fit anywhere.”
- Julian

★★★★★ “I didn't feel so great that day and had to force myself a bit to go, but I was glad that I did. The atmosphere was very welcoming, relaxed, and non-judgemental, which was really great. I haven't participated in comparable spaces/events much before, and I feel that I'm still in the process of becoming comfortable and trusting in these kinds of environment. The QKK event was immensily helpful with that. The opportunity to experiment with clothing was great. I felt insecure about this before the event, but then I felt more confident to show myself in a way I usually don't once I settled in. Sadly, I wasn't in a very socialable emotional state that day, but there was no pressure to participate and connect, which I would've loved to have been able to do more, but the space and wonderful people gave me the feeling to be fully accepted and welcome anyway, which made me feel comfortable with everybody and myself. I'd love for QKK to become a recurring event!”
- Lotte

★★★★★ “A cozy and playful evening with fun people and amazing food.”
- James

★★★★★ “It was just the best evening after a horrribly stressful day - and the best way to slip into easter vacation mood and relaxation and playfulness and getting back to reconnect with my physical, emotional, sensitive and sensual self - and have a lovely experience and lots of fun with others, and a deep yes to being honest, authentic, conscious, vulnerable, playful and bold at the same time!”
- Taro

★★★★★ “For me it was the right moment and the right time and the right event. The exercises encouraged me to move from deep relaxation with my own body. The spaceholding was light though profound. This was mostly about being deeply connected with self while co-creating connections with others. Of course it was sexy and sometimes uncomfortable. The naming of power structures and the soft laughs around specific group dynamics concerning power really helped to make even more fun.”
- Roosien

For sure! Reyna (@chilereynas) will serve some seriously good tacos. Now, I can’t emphasize enough how much Reyna loves feeding people. In her own words:

“When I’m sad, I make Mexican food.
When I need a break, I browse grocery aisles.
When I feel lonely, I invite people to share a meal.”

True story.

3 tacos + an amazing cookie: €11 🌮🍪

Tacos will be available from 18:00 to 18:45 and from 20:00 to 21:00. To avoid food waste, we ask that you pre-order the tacos when you sign up.

Yes, we love co-creation. If you feel like making music or sharing your talents, interests, or creative impulses, please let us know in the signup form and we'll get back to you.

Please note that we don't pay for this and that we can't always promise upfront that it will be possible to do the thing you want to do, as it will depend on the vibes and flow of that particular evening.

Sometimes I challenge myself by going to the Opera in high heels and a dress 👠

Sometimes I go to sex-positive events so I can wear a beautiful bra without people making a fuzz about it 👙

Sometimes I go to ecstatic dance so I can dance freely amongst the liberated souls 👯‍♀️🪩

And, sometimes, I feel too shy to do anything like this, so I sit behind my computer, thinking: “I should create an event again. A place where we can just be free to be whoever and however we want to be.” And next thing you know, there's something called QKK 🦄

In this video, I talk a bit more about my relation to queerness:

Sadly, it’s much easier to make a decent living by working for companies that harm the planet or fuel inequality than it is trying to contribute to a better world. It’s especially hard to make events financially inclusive without sacrificing myself in the process. Many facilitators either rely on other income streams or stop facilitating after a few years, when they realize the prices they offered just weren’t sustainable for themselves.

When event prices do work for a facilitator in the long term, these events are often judged as expensive and 'commercial'—even when things are often still not great for the facilitator. I'd like to show how I've calculated the ticket prices for this event, so you can get a sense of how this works from 'my side'.

The price calculation:

1. I aim to work 5 days a week, 8 hours a day. Out of those hours, roughly 40% of my time goes into things like admin, general promotion, and other general tasks. This means I have around 24 hours per workweek to make my income.
2. On a yearly basis, I have to account for vacation, sick days, public holidays, festivals where I work for free to make a name for myself, and the time I receive training that lets me do this work in a responsible, trauma-informed way. This leaves me with around 38 work weeks per year.
3. This means I have to make my money in 912 hours per year, or around 76 hours per month.
4. My fixed business expenses are around €500 per month, which is actually quite low, but I also have to factor in taxes, my pension, savings in case anything goes wrong, disability insurance, and various other insurances.
5. I spend around 62 hours on one edition of QKK:
• 40 hours of preparation: promotion; venue communication; setting up a team; handling signups and cancellations; chasing payments; communicating with participants, helpers, team members, and the venue; shopping; and many more small tasks.
• 6 hours for travel, setting up the space, and cleaning afterwards
• 8 hours for running the actual event
• 8 hours for tasks after the event: processing feedback forms, evaluating with the team, event-specific administration, returning materials to the storage, and so on.
6. Besides the time investment, I spend a significant amount of money on renting the venue and on materials that enable me to run the event: a sound system, lights, fabrics, etc. Depending on how ticket sales are going, I might have to spend money on paid advertsing, printing flyers, etc.
7. Now, to earn the median salary for someone my age in this part of the world, I would have to generate €104 for each hour that I work on this event (excluding VAT). To achieve this, I would need to sell 100% of the tickets for an average of €142 per ticket (including VAT).
8. Because I want to create inclusive events, I don't charge this kind of amount. Instead, I aim for less than half: €62 per person including VAT.
9. While this enables more people to come to the event, the impact on me is that:
• Either I work for 23% of the median salary for someone my age in this part of the world (which means I earn significantly less what a 20-year-old makes in a supermarket).
• Or: I do what most facilitators do: I accept a salary of, say, 33% of the median, but I cut out all of my safety nets. I don't save money, I don't save up for a pension, and I don't have disability insurance. All of this works as long as I'm healthy, working, can live cheaply, and don't have kids or anyone else to care for, but it offers very little security—now and later in life—and I would be properly screwed whenever I have any medical challenges.

So, it's complicated... Bravo if you made it to the end of this. If you want to share your reflections, feel free to message me on Telegram or through the contact form.

The following values are the foundation for this event. If these don't resonate with you, then we may not be a match. Of course, these values are always a work in progress. If something about them doesn’t feel right, or if you have ideas for improvement, we would love to hear from you. Message Mette on Telegram or through the contact form. If it ever feels like the team members don't live up to these values, we truly wish you tell us. In the moment or afterwards.

1. Authenticity: Everyone's invited to verbally, physically, and emotionally express themselves. We can play with our expression without justifying ourselves, yet we strive to do so in a way that’s considerate of other people.

2. Inclusivity: We welcome all identities and personal backgrounds. We try to notice the judgments and assumptions we make about others, and question racism, sexism, ageism, ableism, homophobia, transphobia, or other discriminatory beliefs or behavior.

3. Consent: We respect each other's space, stuff, boundaries and privacy. We share a responsibility to create a safe environment for ourselves as well as for others.

4. Confidentiality: We don’t share about other people’s experiences. We don’t comment on other people’s experiences without their consent.

5. Self and group responsibility: We try to be aware of the ways in which we take up space and strive to contribute to the safety of the group. We’re all responsible for our own physical and emotional needs. In case your behavior significantly decreases the group safety, we expect you to be responsive to feedback. If you're not, we will ask you to leave the event (and won't offer a refund).

6. No sex or romance with team members: Team members don't share arousal, sexual energy, or romance with participants. We might be up for sharing other forms of touch :)

7. No intoxication: We don't consume drugs and alcohol during or before the event, and stay off our phones/devices in the public spaces (except the little hall where you arrive).

Not all experiences in these kinds of spaces are pleasant – no matter how much we try to do things right.

If you have an unpleasant experience with a team member or fellow participant, we encourage you to contact them directly and invite them for a clearing. If you don't know how to do this, we can send you a description for a clearing method. You're also very welcome to reach out to Mette on Telegram or through the contact form or any other team member. We may be able to support you and won’t take any action without your consent.

If you have an unpleasant experience with Mette, you may reach out to Mette, to another team member, or to Mette's accountability partner Anouk Bongers. She won't communicate with Mette unless you consent to it. You can find her contact details here.

One more thing: It may take time to process certain experiences. Sometimes months or years. The offer above remains valid. There’s no such thing as reaching out too late.