Safe&free: Within Yourself
Part of Ambassadors For Humanity
Know those times when Life doesn’t flow?
- You push yourself at work, in projects, or friendships, but end up feeling exhausted.
- You dislike how someone treats you, yet you smile or freeze — or overreact.
- You lie stressed out in bed, and can’t put an end to the thoughts.
- You long to show your raw self, but stick to “acceptable ways” of doing things.
“Something cracked open in me. It changed the way I express myself and how I show up in the world.”
— Dila
Instead, Would you like to...
- Feel more connected to others, your body, and yourself?
- Make authentic choices that truly meet your needs?
- Express vulnerable thoughts and emotions with sensitivity and ease?
- Feel SAFE and FREE within yourself?
“I started catching myself using some techniques on real-life situations much more, which is absolutely great!”
— Florian
Sounds (almost too) good? Join us for a weekend
I'm Mette Koppelaar, and with my team we create supportive environments for meaningful learning, experimentation, and play.
This weekend is part one of a series of five, and will be hosted by Anna Schmidbauer and me. The weekend helps you see the dynamics within yourself that unconsciously shape how you live and relate. This process is much more impactful than most people realize upfront. In the video below, you can watch me explain it.
Let’s get concrete What you’ll learn
We’ll start with the absolute foundation (that’s so often overlooked): creating inner safety by befriending your nervous system. In the remaining weekends, we’ll build on this and explore how you can cultivate more safety and freedom in relationships, groups, and society at large.
When life doesn’t flow, your nervous system is often in a state of unsafety:
- Fight/flight: pushing yourself, overreacting, running on adrenaline. This is often followed by a collapse. (Netflix binge, anyone?)
- Freeze: wanting to act but feeling stuck.
- Collapse: feeling heavy, anxious, or unable to get out of bed.
- Fawn: pretending you’re fine, hiding your true feelings, or pleasing.
- Safety: feeling curious, compassionate, creative, and connected.
These responses are not wrong
They’re clever mechanisms that protect you from real danger. Like when the adrenaline rush of the fight/flight response helps you escape or fight off an attacker. The problem is when you get stuck in these responses, or when they activate because of your deadlines at work.
See yourself through a new lens
As you learn to recognize nervous system states, it will become clear that:
- Your body is always in either safety or unsafety.
- In safety, you can connect. In unsafety, you’re focused on protection.
- These states shape your thoughts, emotions, and what (you think) you want. They heavily color your perception of yourself and others.
- You bring your system back to safety, using self and co-regulation—often in just a few minutes.
Why this matters so much
When you understand this (not in your mind but in your body), it opens the door to a much more authentic life. It prepares you to accept and express yourself more fully.
Which is exactly what we'll explore in step 2.
Freedom and safety — what it means in practice
To understand how you can learn to embrace all of yourself, feel more at home in your body, and more at ease in life, watch the video:
Skip to what interests you:
- 00:00:00 — Introducing the first two weekends
- 00:02:13 — Your personal domain
- 00:04:20 — The Pyramid of Permission
- 00:05:09 — How safety shapes your experience
- 00:08:17 — How permission filters your expression
- 00:09:41 — Real Moments
- 00:10:18 — The “authentic self” myth (and the alternative)
- 00:14:09 — Safe & free within yourself (how to achieve this)
- 00:17:06 — Group conversation
- 00:21:08 — Outro
The goal of this weekend isn’t to become “the most authentic person” or to express every part of yourself all the time. It’s to notice how much outer safety and permission you have to express yourself, and to develop the skills to do so when it feels right. One moment at a time..
In ways that feel authentic to you, and attuned to those around you, you'll be invited to:
- Say what you think
- Express what you feel
- Do what you truly want to do
- Honor your body’s needs and desires
Over time, this brings more inner safety, deeper relationships, and a meaningful and easeful everyday life.
How this weekend gets you there
Here's how we help you get closer to this reality:
- We’ll create a supportive environment
Together, we create outer safety & permission to welcome your vulnerable, authentic expression. - We’ll invite you to express yourself
Through words, emotions, saying no, following your desires, making sound, breathing, movement, appearance, or physical interaction. - You’ll meet your inner limitations
Because no matter how much safety & permission we create, you’ll encounter the inner limits that were shaped by your upbringing, life experiences, identity, and the societal structures that restrict certain expressions and identities. - You’ll create new possibilities
By taking the right risks, you can experience that it’s possible to reveal more of yourself and still be safe and loved. This grows your inner sense of safety, permission, and freedom.
The safety and permission you build here can gradually start to carry over into new contexts of your life. Which I'll talk about in step 3.
Watch me explain how this happened for me:
This weekend isn’t about fixing or changing who you are. It’s about using the safety of the group to build inner safety—and from there, discover inner freedom.
You’ll practice what makes an authentic life possible:
- Ground yourself when life feels overwhelming.
- Trust your own voice, even when it’s different.
- Express yourself more fully in ways that others can receive.
- Connect with people without losing yourself.
It’s a gradual process
Changing your life takes time and practice, which is why this weekend is part of a six-month program. But even a single weekend can shift how you relate to yourself, others, and the world—simply because this change begins within yourself.
The full picture
Watch me explain the philosophy behind the program in more detail:
Skip to what interests you:
- 00:00:00 — Three levels of humanity
- 00:02:42 — Real Moments
- 00:04:15 — Creating real moments
- 00:06:42 — Safety and permission
- 00:09:00 — The full model
- 00:10:20 — Creating positive imprints
- 00:12:36 — Supportive environments
- 00:14:50 — Confidence, skill & sensitivity
- 00:18:22 — 5 weekends, 5 perspectives
- 00:24:36 — Group conversation
To understand how this weekend helps you embrace all of yourself, feel more at home in your body, and more at ease in life, watch the video:
Skip to what interests you:
- 00:00:00 — Introducing the first two weekends
- 00:02:13 — Your personal domain
- 00:04:20 — The Pyramid of Permission
- 00:05:09 — How safety shapes your experience
- 00:08:17 — How permission filters your expression
- 00:09:41 — Real Moments
- 00:10:18 — The “authentic self” myth (and the alternative)
- 00:14:09 — Safe & free within yourself (how to achieve this)
- 00:17:06 — Group conversation
- 00:21:08 — Outro
“You guys did a really outstanding job! I did not expect that much of an impact.”
— Ben
When, where, quanto costa? The practicals
We’ll start the weekend on Friday 30 Oct 2026 (at 18:15) — at the beautiful KARA Kulturraum in Berlin. We’ll say our goodbyes on Sunday 1 Nov at 17:30. It’s possible to stay over and enjoy the group energy all weekend.
With 20+ contact hours, each weekend allows for a slow arrival, a proper closing, and many meaningful experiences in between:
- Friday 30 October 2026 (18:15 – 22:00)
A nurturing evening, focused on landing in the space, connecting with the group, and starting the weekend from a place of regulation. - Saturday 31 October 2026 (10:15 – 22:30)
Daytime practices/experiences to deeply connect with the theme of this weekend. A less structured evening focussed on group connection, eating, and hanging out together. (You can leave early if you need more rest.) - Sunday 1 November 2026 (10:15 – 17:30)
More practices/experiences around this weekend’s topic. A closing of the container that also bridges the weekend with your everyday life.
Zoom call
- Tuesday 10 Nov 2026 (19:30 – 21:30 CET)
Integration call: reconnect with the group, digest the weekend together, and further integrate the learnings in your life.
Curious?
To spend a weekend with people looking for meaningful connection, sign up or book a free discovery call with Mette.
Practical:
- Group size: 10–25 lovely humans.
- Availability: . Join now.
- Language: English
- Bring: comfortable, layered clothing, pen&paper, a water bottle, and whatever brings you comfort or joy. Optionally bring an item to place on that weekend’s altar, snacks to share, and lunch/dinner if you won’t eat out or order in.
Venue, food, staying over:
- Venue: KARA Kulturraum, Berlin (google maps). It's a beautiful, queer, collaborative art space in Berlin Moabit. Photos and accessibility description below.
- Accommodation: It’s possible (and fully optional) to stay at the house on Friday and/or Saturday night for €20 per night. You only have to bring a bedsheet (for around a single mattress). The rest is there. You’ll either stay in the workshop space or in another shared space. Limited availability.
- Food: On Saturdays, we have a 2.5 hour lunch break. We eat and hang out together in the evening (self organized by the group). On Sunday, we have a 1.5 hour lunch break. For all meals, you can eat a nearby restaurant, order in, bring your own food, or cook in the kitchen. There’s a fridge, freezer, and fully equipped kitchen.
- Accessibility: There is a ramp and extra bell that can be reached without climbing stairs at the entry. The house has no thresholds. There is an accessible bathroom and shower. The garden can be reached via the garden gate. The only non-accessible parts of the house are the two mezzanines that allow for extra space. There's a parking space available right in front of the door in the backyard. Please get in touch if you require any assistance.
- Pets: You can't bring your super cute doggie. I'm sorry.
Can you picture yourself here?
Sign up or book a free discovery call with Mette.
The price combines a fixed upfront payment with a flexible donation afterwards. This makes it possible to keep the initial cost relatively low while inviting people who can to support the work more fully.
Fixed payment — upfront
- €325 — Join 1 weekend
- €305 per weekend — Join 2 weekends
- €290 per weekend — Join 3+ weekends
Flexible donation — afterwards
Afterwards, you’ll make a donation based on your experience and financial reality. This donation supports the time and energy I put into facilitating the program and organizing the weekends and calls. It also contributes to the ongoing investment behind the program: the time and money I spend educating myself, the financial risks involved in organizing events, and the broader costs of sustaining this work long-term. (If you join multiple weekends, this happens at the very end)
Here’s the scale per weekend:
- €1 — Minimum donation (so I know you didn’t forget it)
- €20 – €420 — Sliding scale (whatever works for you)
- €435 — Fully sustainable donation (I know this amount isn’t realistic for most people, so please don’t let it stop you from joining)
- €440+ — Donate extra (so others can pay less)
To understand these numbers, see the price calculation.
Pay in installments
The fixed payment can be split into monthly installments. This creates more administration and financial risk on my side, so a small fee is added:
- Pay in 2 installments: 2% fee
- Pay in 3 installments: 3% fee
- Pay in 4 installments: 4% fee (only when joining 4 weekends or more)
- Pay in 5 installments: 5% fee (only when joining 4 weekends or more)
Make your choice
Indicate your preferences in the signup form. If you’re unsure what works for you, message me on Telegram or book a call.
Spots are filling
What you’ll learn
To understand how this weekend helps you embrace all of yourself, feel more at home in your body, and more at ease in life, watch the video:
“People in my life reflect how free I've been feeling, and that I inspire them to be authentic too.”
— Lani
Who’s creating this? Meet the facilitators
We’re three people from different walks of life—united in our wish to contribute to a world where all people can flourish and grow.
We strive to hold these weekends in a responsible, trauma-informed way, but also show up as the humans we are, and are genuinely open to connect — whether through genuine conversation, hugs, or dances; laughter, tears, or play.
Mette Koppelaar (1984, they/them)
Facilitates weekends: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5
I see authentic self-expression as a way to welcome more of myself, build deeper connection, and contribute to a more loving world.
As a facilitator, I create spaces where people from diverse identities can be true to themselves, build trust, and contribute to a culture of freedom and care. I use frameworks like:
- The Pyramid of Permission (developed by me)
- Polyvagal Theory
- Internal Family Systems
- Wheel of Consent
- Nonviolent Communication
- Diamond Approach
- Buddhism
My approach is simple: when there’s enough outer safety and permission to express yourself, you’ll meet the edges of your inner safety and permission. Having positive experiences at your edges, you can slowly become more comfortable with a wider range of expression. Over time, this allows you to reveal more of yourself in more areas of life.
My lens and ambition
I was born in Amsterdam in 1984. I’m white, able-bodied, middle-class, and gender nonconforming, using they/them or he/him pronouns. I grew up with safety and stability, with parents who spent years in group therapy before I was born. I haven’t faced war or poverty, and my passport allows me to travel freely—privileges I’m increasingly aware of.
At the same time, dressing outside gender norms has shown me what it’s like to not always feel safe on the street. Research, book interviews, and many personal conversations have deepened my understanding of societal oppression—especially for those whose identities are most targeted.
What began as a search for personal freedom has turned into a deep longing for a free, just, and equal world. It’s what I strive to contribute to in my work and daily life—one real moment at a time.
Connect with me
Book a free call, join my mailing list, Telegram channel, or Instagram — or watch some of the videos below this photo:
Watch me talk
Why I created Ambassadors For Humanity:
How dressing outside the norm led me to do this work:
Anna Schmidbauer (1989, she/her)
Co-facilitates weekends: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5
“With my earliest professional roots in social work, I have dedicated 15 years of my life to working with children and teenagers. Learning and deepening most of my current work ethics through and with them, I have offered creative conflict resolution camps out in the wilderness, democracy camps, Czech-German youth exchanges as well as early childhood rhythmic education. I have worked in juvenile detention as well as in Waldorf kindergarten. This wide range of fields has informed and shaped me deeply.
Later, when I started a new professional chapter with being trained in the Pantarei Approach, I realized that the aspects which fascinated me most about the work with children, were also the key elements that unlocked fertile and fruitful processes in the somatic coaching processes of my clients.
Believing in the power of our heartfelt visions and dreams, I am now supporting entrepreneurs who wish their work to be a holistic, just and sustainable contribution and possible solution to some of today’s pressing issues. One of my main goals in this work is to support my clients and their bodies in offering what is most meaningful to them, without setting themselves up for burnout.
I believe in the courageous act of unlocking innocence, play, expression, fascination, excitement, honesty and hope - qualities I have seen and immersed myself in in their purest form in my work with children. When those qualities are allowed to be part of our healing work, of much needed activism and new work models, there’s the potential to experience them beyond the real risk of them being ‘fluffy love and light’ escape strategies.
I’m grateful and joyful to be part of the upcoming Ambassadors for Humanity journey, and look forward to us researching and weaving together.”
“Mette created a playful, sparkling room where it was easy to feel authentic, safe, welcome, and respected — a room to experiment, express yourself, and just be free.”
— Laura
You’re so welcome to Spend these days with us
Registration is now open:
Checked out the prices? Feeling excited and maybe a little scared? That’s what growth often feels like :)
Sign up in three steps
- 1. Fill out the registration form
Choose this weekend, or any additional weekends you’d like to join: Weekend signup form
Or, if you already know you want to join the whole journey: Full-program signup form. - 2. Schedule an intake call
You’ll receive a scheduling link after filling out the form. - 3. Make the initial payment
Your spot is confirmed once the first payment has been made. Payment in installments is possible.
You can also start with an obligation-free discovery call with Mette.
Many people spiral back and forth between yes and no. But not all spirals are the same. Here are two types of doubts:
1. Actual life concerns:
- “I have wayyyyy too many things going on. Adding something will send me straight into a burnout.”
- “I know it’s not the right time, but I fear this is my last chance! ”
- “I'm really low on cash, and spending more money will affect my ability to pay rent or buy food.”
If this is you, then now is probably not the best time to join.
2. Fear of doing something new:
- “Part of me is excited! But I’m also a little afraid.”
- “I have little experience in these spaces — and I fear I’m the only inexperienced one.”
- “I don’t know anyone there — and I fear I’ll feel awkward or alone.”
If this is your experience, I would call it “normal” fear or resistance. At the risk of sounding persuasive, here’s my take on it:
- You won’t be the only inexperienced one. Most participants don’t yet know each other. Rather, we all start to form a deep bond over the course of experience. That’s the beauty.
- Many people have these kinds of fears — especially the first time. In fact, it’s almost prerequisite for joining because it shows you’re on your edge of growth.
- Sometimes, it’s helpful to stop overthinking, remember that you can always leave, and take a leap of faith. Often, the annoying person turned out to be right: the water really isn’t that cold.
- If you have some genuine concerns, just book a call with me, and you’ll definitely have more clarity after that.
Break the spiral by having a chat with me on Zoom. In 15-20 minutes, you’ll likely find more clarity than after days of thinking about it. We can talk about the retreat, a specific challenge in your life, or simply make small-talk and have a laugh.
This weekend belongs to Ambassadors For Humanity.
There are four more weekends
...which can be joined separately:
- 30 Oct – 1 Nov 2026
Safe & free within yourself
Weekend you’re currently looking at - 27–29 Nov 2026
Safe & free in connection
Check out weekend 2 - 5–7 Feb 2027
Safe & free in community
Check out weekend 3 - 5–7 Mar 2027
Dare to dream
Check out weekend 4 - 2–4 Apr 2027
Make it happen
Check out weekend 5
Not this time?
Check out all my events, follow me on Telegram, Instagram, or Facebook. Or join the mailing list:
“Looking back at the impact this journey continues to have on my life, I'm full of love, appreciation, and gratitude for the team and every participant who made this so special and beautiful.”
— Kéan K.
Yes, we take this seriously: Values & accountability
How we take responsibility for the space:
The following values are the foundation for all my work. If these don't resonate with you, then we may not be a match. Of course, these values are always a work in progress. If something about them doesn’t feel right, or if you have ideas for improvement, I would love to hear from you. Message me on Telegram or through the contact form.
If it ever feels like I or any of the team members don't live up to these values, I would love for you to tell me.
- Authenticity: Everyone's invited to verbally, physically, and emotionally express themselves. We can play with our expression without justifying ourselves, yet we strive to do so in a way that’s considerate of other people.
- Inclusivity: We welcome all identities and personal backgrounds. We try to notice the judgments and assumptions we make about others, and question racism, sexism, ageism, ableism, homophobia, transphobia, or other discriminatory beliefs or behavior.
- Consent: We respect each other's space, stuff, boundaries and privacy. We share a responsibility to create a safe environment for ourselves as well as for others.
- Confidentiality: We don’t share about other people’s experiences. We don’t comment on other people’s experiences without their consent.
- Self and group responsibility: We try to look after our own well-being and ask for help when we need it—even when we don't know what we need. We try to be aware how we take up space, and strive to contribute to the safety of the group.
- No sex or romance with team members: Team members and participants don't share arousal, sexual energy, or romance with each other. (Team members are often available for hugs, co-regulation and other forms of touch.)
- No intoxication: We don't consume drugs and alcohol during or before the event, and limit the use of phones/devices in public spaces.
Lots of beautiful things can happen in spaces like these. You may also encounter interactions that don’t work for you—even when everyone has the best intentions. This can often be repaired when everyone involved is willing to have a vulnerable conversation about what happened.
If you have an unpleasant experience with a team member or fellow participant, I encourage you to reach out to them directly. If that doesn’t work or feels like too much, you’re very welcome to contact me (Mette) via Telegram or the contact form, or to contact any other team member. I/we may be able to support you and won’t take any action without your consent.
If you have an unpleasant experience with me (Mette), you're invited to reach out to me directly, contact another team member, or approach my accountability partner Anouk Bongers. She won't communicate with me unless you consent to it. You can find her contact details here.
If you’re still carying something that happened a long time ago, I want to acknowledge that it can take time to process certain experiences. Sometimes months or years. The offer above remains valid. There’s no such thing as reaching out too late.
(To see the actual prices, click here)
Working independently in a sustainable way comes with many invisible costs. Because prices in this field can sometimes seem high or “commercial,” I want to be transparent about how these numbers are calculated and how different contribution levels impact my ability to do this work.
Please don't let this overview stop you from joining. My intention is not to pressure you into paying more, but to make visible what different contribution levels mean for me. I deeply long to make a living through this work so I can keep doing it, yet I don’t want anyone to make a donation that puts them into financial hardship.
| The fully sustainable donation per weekend | €435 |
| If I let go of... | The donation is... |
| Nothing | €435 |
| Attending trainings & events to improve my work | €393 |
| Saving up for business challenges | €350 |
| Saving up for my pension | €263 |
| Adding to my personal savings | €219 |
| Taking vacation | €178 |
| Being insured for not being able to work | €161 |
| Taking time off on public holidays | €144 |
| Taking time off when I'm sick | €127 |
I don’t expect everyone to pay the full price
Most people won’t — and that’s okay.
I simply want to make visible that when many people pay less, the sum of that difference has to be absorbed somewhere — either through substantial donations from others, or by taking it from my savings, pension, and long-term financial security.
Some reflective questions you can consider:
- Do you have a job, savings, financial support, a family you can rely on, or ways to earn additional money if needed?
- Do you have stable housing, citizenship, and good health?
- Are you likely to inherit money some day?
- Do you frequently encounter systemic oppression or discrimination, or are you more shielded from this?
- Are you able to spend money on things like eating out, vacations, events, therapy, or hobbies — or does most of your income already go toward basic needs?
- Do you financially support your children, sick family members, or family abroad?
- Knowing what this program could contribute to your life, are there creative ways you could realistically source the money over time?
How the calculation works
- I aim to work 5 days a week, 8 hours a day. Out of those hours, roughly 40% of my time goes into things like admin, general promotion, and other general tasks. This means I have around 24 hours per workweek to make my income.
- On a yearly basis, I have to account for vacation, sick days, public holidays, festivals where I work for free to make a name for myself, and the time I spend on training that lets me do this work in a responsible, trauma-informed way. Which leaves me with around 38 work weeks per year.
- This means I have to make my entire annual income in 24 x 38 = 912 hours per year, or 76 hours per month.
- I spend at least 460 hours on one edition of this program:
- 145+ hours of preparation: developing the program; promotion; venue communication; setting up a team; handling signups and cancellations; chasing payments; communicating with participants, helpers, team members, and the venue; shopping; and many more small tasks.
- 275+ hours for preparing and facilitating the actual five weekends
- 40+ hours for preparing and hosting the online calls
- Besides the time investment, I spend money on overhead costs for my business, renting the venue, paying team members, and buying materials I need for running the program. Depending on how signups are going, I might have to spend money on online promotion, printing flyers, etc.
- Now, to earn the median salary for someone my age (42) in this part of the world, I have to generate €123.42 for each hour that I work on this program (including VAT). To achieve this, I need to completely sell out the program with an average donation of €2,831 per full program participant (on top of the initial payment).
- To make this program more inclusive, I've lowered my target salary by 20%, and accepted that I’ll likely earn much less than that, unless for everyone paying less, there’s someone paying more, which isn’t the case.
- While my setup greatly reduces the price and makes my programs more inclusive, it does mean that I don’t know how long I’ll be able to do this work for. I have a very low salary and very little security: I basically cut out all of my safety nets. I don't save money, I don't save up for a pension, and I don't have disability insurance. This works as long as I'm healthy, have access to cheap housing, and don't have kids or anyone else to care for, but I’ll not when any of this changes or when I age.
So yes — it’s a long and complex story.
Thank you for taking the time to read this. If you want to share reflections, ask questions, or contribute financially so others can participate at a lower price, you’re welcome to message me on Telegram or through the contact form.
Most of the workshop photos were taken by Mio Schweiger. The portraits, group photos, and space photos were taken by others.
You scrolled a loooong way. Now, choose wisely:
- Ready to join? Signing up takes just a few minutes
- Have specific questions? Schedule a free intake call with Mette
- Want to stay in the loop? Follow me on Telegram, Instagram or Facebook